Tag Archive for she said/he said

I’m Afraid She’ll Go Behind My Back!

Karen, we love your blog.    Your blog is responsible for some really hot
sex around here.    My wife wants to be a swinger so bad….and so do I but
here is what happened….and I am wondering if you can help us out…

She and I started to think the idea of swinging was hot.

She was a little nervous.

To get her past this I found a profile on Swingular of a local single guy
with a crazy fit body (Mr X).   I emailed him my wife’s cell # and told him
to start to flirt with her to get her going.

Well, it worked.   She started texting back to him every 15 minutes.   She
went crazy with it and it started bothering me how much she liked it.

We were about to meet the guy and then the day before it was to happen at a
hotel we had a close family member die.   So that obviously put the brakes
on everything.

I was actually glad because she was having fantasies of just her and him and
then coming home to talk to me about it.    I never intended it to be that
way.   It was always just supposed to be something we do together.

Anyway, I told her we should hold off until sometime in the future.    Well
she couldn’t hold off.   She started texting him and deleting the messages so
I wouldn’t find out.    She then left the messages in her phone after a
while….she says so I would look in her phone sometime and find them.   I
actually do believe her on this one.    Anyway, this was all in January and
since then she has fantasies about this every time we have sex.   I cant
blame her.

So…….my question for you is should we go forward with this single guy or
would it end up with my wife going behind my back?

I am afraid once she has sex with another guy she might start wanting to
meet up with him during the day without me knowing.

She was a virgin when I married her and so she has never even touched or
seen another mans dick.    Also, she is a stay at home mommy who gets bored
and may want to play without me there.     What do you think?

Karen Says~

Wow!  That is some predicament!  Have you expressed to your wife how you feel about this?  I would start up with going over with her the reasons you and her had for swinging in the first place. Have you expressed to her that going behind you back would be grounds to end the marriage?
Do you think this guy could be making her feel like she is really desirable?  This is probably a new concept for her since you were her first.  Make sure you are re-affirming that she is indeed the goddess of you world,  the sexiest and best lay you have even had.   Express that you can’t wait to share her with other guys,  because you are so proud of her skills.  She may need to hear from you, that she is the queen of you life and not that you are looking for a replacement when you swing.
I would say I was a bit confused about the blurry line between cheating and swinging at first too.  Miguel made it clear to me that cheating would be doing it behind his back and why cheating in the lifestyle just doesn’t make sense.  Explain to you wife that she can have this guy anytime…when you are there to enjoy it to.  Once Miguel explain his zero tolerance for cheating I had more respect for the relationship we have.  Your wife sounds like she is enjoying herself,  but needs to focus more on having you enjoy it to.  I would express the amount of trust it takes to have actually started to swing,  and what it is going to take to continue the lifestyle.  This shouldn’t be just about her,  it should be about the both of you enhancing your relationship and exploring new things together.

Miguel Says~

You and your wife need to be on the same sheet of music.  Swinging is a together thing.  Her wanting to fuck the guy without you is not swinging.  You should tell her how you feel.  If she chats with the guy more than she chats with you,  then she has the swinging concept all wrong.  If you and your wife still want to swing you should both agree which guy she should fuck.
This guy,  is just a human fuck toy;  she shouldn’t be getting too close to her human sex toy. A swinger should be trying to enhance physical needs and desires.  She should not be trying to fulfill her emotional desires with her fuck toy,  that’s your job!
That’s just my opinion.