Tag Archive for lifestyle

Excuse me

Mind Vomit

I know I have been only posting sporadically lately. I feel very far away from my site at the moment.

I started my new job. The great news is that it doesn’t suck. It isn’t overwhelming. I am putting my learned skills to use and that feels really good. I find myself not watching the clock at work. I can’t really express here with words how fucking good it is to have a job that doesn’t insult my intelligence or my integrity. I feel really lucky. I know I may not feel this way next year, or next month even. In this economy getting this job was such a blessing. To think that just a few months ago I considered leaving my career due to lack of opportunities. I know that spell of hard times has made me really appreciating how things are going now. Strange to feel this way.

I got my other big wish two weeks ago and my babysitter moved out. The details are complicated. It needed to happen. I felt suffocated in my own home. I have a big empty room now. I also have no adult to leave home with my kids. I didn’t really think that would be a big deal. The older kids are legally old enough, but it makes me uncomfortable. Fucking hindsight is always 20/20! So we will be going out less. Really trying to make each night out count.

We did get out last Saturday night. We chatted with a couple we see there often. The man seemed a bit mad. I prodded, cuz that is what I do, and he shared that he was frustrated with going out and not hooking up. He expressed frustration about the distance, the cover charge, the cost of drinks. All of that, and not even a glimmer of hope that there would be a hook-up.

I bit my tongue.

The truth is that I have heard these same complaints from Miguel before. I agree that there is always a bit of pressure to make a hook-up happen when you go out. It just seems like a pointless expense without it, but… sometimes I just want to go out. I sometimes don’t want a hook-up. I am still milling this over. I could totally understand his frustration. I see both sides of this argument. But I have to admit that we didn’t hook-up with anyone at this party.

We met a lot of nice people. We even met a poly/TPE/swinger couple. So rare at a swinger club. We talked about how fetish and swinger don’t mix so well. They could if they had an understanding of the ground rules, but people are stupid. Each side has views on the other and generally, they just don’t mix well. It is ridiculous that swingers or fetish folk might be judgmental of anyone, but I have witnessed it. Once I really opened myself up to being sex positive, there is no going back. I am committed to keeping an open mind and hopefully we will be checking out some of the recommended venues coming up in the coming year. I don’t care what people think, this is my life and I don’t want to miss a thing.

So that is my mind vomit of the moment. The other thing really on my mind is the tragedy that happened last Friday. I don’t really want to talk about it, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I know a lot of people, like me, are still in shock. That something like that could even happen. I am heartbroken. I keep thinking about it. I guess it really hit home that this is the world we live in. I don’t really know what else to say about it that hasn’t been said already. I am trying to not waste today.


Q & A Swinger Style ~Fifi & Edwin

Swinger Q & A

Fifi and Edwin are a couple that has been in the lifestyle for over 10 years. They have a webcam website (fifiandfriends.com) where they offer pictorials and cam shows for paid members. They also have loads of movies that were shot with consensual swinger couples. We have actually never played with Fifi and Edwin but we know a lot of the same people and play at some of the same places.

They are open about their lifestyle on the web and even host swinger “orientation” classes at Caliente resort and Eyz Wide Shut. Although nothing like experience can prepare you for the lifestyle, being able to ask questions from people that have probably been there/done that is very reassuring. So many people are curious and just want a peek at what it is we do, why we do it, and how we meet new people. Most swingers are friendly, social people. Fifi and Edwin are picture perfect typical swingers. They enjoy a healthy balance of work and play and have found a way to share their love of the lifestyle with others. Miguel and I don’t get out as much as these two, but in all fairness they don’t have kids living at home anymore like we do. They have nine children between them. So the fact that they even made it out of the house…like ever, gives me hope that this too shall pass.

We are seeking committed couples who like to dance, touch & play. Couples who take care of their selves, are in love with each other, love to create their own fun but lead a balanced life always spark our interest. We are also looking for couples to join us in our private weekend adventures as we explore taking pics together and looking for that special couple for our first video together.  We are an educated, happily married, no pressure couple that loves to dance and live in the moment. We have a positive outlook on life; we are easy to get along with, and great fun to be around and party with! Look for FifiandFriends on FaceBook and MILFifi on Twitter and YouTube.



How did the two of you get into the lifestyle? Whose idea was it?

 I (Fifi) have been a swinger since age 27, so it was my idea.  As I would listen to my wonderful husband (Edwin) discuss different affairs that he had in his previous marriage, he will tell me different stories and places he had been, how he felt about it, etc.  So, it just stayed in my mind after we gofifi3t married.  A few months later, I brought it up again and it was just a conversation, not that I felt Edwin was going to have an affair behind my back or anything but it was something that played on his mind – why he did things, so it became a discussion on many occasions and I finally said to Edwin…”I think I can solve this – you need to be a swinger” . From there it took off, we were married in September 2000 and we started swinging together every weekend since the old Pleasure Palace (PP now Eyz Wide Shut) opened its doors in December of 2000; when there were 5 owners and we got to know several Sams and of course Andrew & Susan too!  

What was your first swinging experience like?

 It was a full swap mind blowing re-memorable (played over and over again) fifi5experience at Pleasure Palace.  There were two beds in the same room and the more experienced couple invited us over to share their bed.  I (Edwin) asked Fifi first, “what would you like to do”, her reply was “if we go, we can never go back”, and my reply was “Let’s Go!”  Now here it is twelve years later and this year (2012) we started teaching lifestyle101 classes at EWS, Caliente and via our private adventure website as part of the Adult Seminar network.  These classes are for new couples who are interested in getting involved in a lifestyle, where the possibility exists.

How do you meet new people?Attachment-1

 We meet folks every day on the internet and every week at various lifestyle clubs, nudist resorts (Caliente), private parties, and on many many lifestyle vacations (Hedo-Jamaica , Caribe-DR, Cruises, etc) every year.  Our circle of quality friendships has grown over the years.  We also have a very simple and fun adult business where we help other couples learn how to Pay for their Play time and more important Fund their weekly private adventure FUN times together.  We just returned from a Lifestyle Cruise on the Royal Caribbean Freedom of the Seas, along with 1800+ other couples.  We will never ever be the same again!  Since we believe, the mind should work like a parachute (it works best when open) going forward we will only vacation with other lifestyle (open minded couples) folks.  We are organizing a new FifiandFriends lifestyle vacation (Dream Pleasure Tours) starting in 2013 and we plan to continue this tradition every year.

Does anyone in your family know you swing? Do your co-workers know? Has anyone ever tried to talk you out of your lifestyle?fifi

 Edwin’s family all know about our lifestyle choices and some of my family does too.  We use to be very open with family and close friends but now we try harder to be more discrete on what we are doing or where we are going.  Most Monday mornings at the gym, when folks ask us how our weekend was, we simply reply with…”our weekend, you want to know how our weekend was? Well take your best birthday weekend and multiple by ten that was our weekend, how was your weekend?”  Our standard reply to most non-lifestyle folks is that “we are both very happy and more in love today than yesterday.”

What was your most memorable swing experience? Sexiest experience or most horrific hook-up?

 Driving to South Florida for private penthouse parties and realizing on the way home, we never made it to the dance floor?  Since we have been swinging together every weekend since December 2000, we have a very long list of memories that will last a lifetime.  We share most of private adventures during our weekly webcam shows from our private members-only web site (www.FifiandFriends.com)fifi8

Any pet peeves in the lifestyle? (things that are a major turn off/red flag for you two)

 Our fantasy is that everyone knew just how awesome this lifestyle can be especially when exploring with your best friend and lover too.  Therefore, we always approach an encounter or evening out with one simple rule, to have a good time together no matter dynamics are in play.  We never ever try to over analyze this lifestyle; if it flows we go and if not, we simply move on.

Your advice to a couple(or single) new to the lifestyle?

 We all have regular real life jobs, families and various demands on our time so this lifestyle should be about FUN not work.  Do your best to flee from drama (other people’s problems) and if it is work, why do it…make your own sunshine and make if FifiFUN!

I am always curious about the couples I meet and would love to give them a chance to share some of their stories here. I am going to be featuring a new established couple on each post. If you are interested in being a part of this Q & A just contact me and let me know.

Q & A Swinger Style ~Lola & HH

Swinger Q & A

Lola and HH of mysexlifewithlola are hot bloggers with a very interesting lifestyle. I really wanted to include some hot bloggers in this feature. Mysexlifewithlola was most recently given a slot in the Top 100 Bloggers of 2012 (#35). They are a couple I have read about, fantasized about, and admired for a while.

They share their sexual exploits on the web. They have been playing like this for at least two years. Although they are a bit vague on all the details. I would really like to meet them in the flesh, but they play in a colder climate and there are a few states between us. The thing about their anonymity that is so intriguing is that this could be a couple you know. They could be your neighbors. This couple could be found anywhere in your community. They are a real sexy couple discreetly living out a fantasy sexual lifestyle.

While Lola and HH aren’t exactly typical swingers, they do enjoy sex with people outside of their relationship. There relations is a more one sided/open relationship known as a cuckold. Cuckolding is something we have run across in the lifestyle, although I have not mentioned it as such. It is close to swinging since their exploits do not lead to long lasting relationships or involve emotions other than lust. If a female wants to play and the man gets to watch, that is never really a problem for most swingers. This type of couple is usually well received in the lifestyle and can find plenty of action.

The way they meet people for play is not a shock to us. We have met some of our best hook-ups that way. The tone of the ad may sound harsh, but consider were this is going and you will understand the need for rules right from the jump. She spells her needs out perfectly. Even the lingo is typical of a swinger ad. Things like wanting to voice-verify and needing to see pics first tells me that this couples means business. Lola is a knockout that really has no problem finding men or women to play with. Don’t believe me? Just check out her calender….yes Lovelies, she is that kind of girl.

How did the two of you get into the lifestyle? Whose idea was it?

H.H. – First, I think we need to clarify a bit here.  We’re not exactly “swingers.”  Our kink is more Cuckolding.  To be more precise, Lo is, in the parlance of our times, a “hot wife,” though we are not married.  In our relationship she sleeps with basically whomever she wants, I don’t.  There are a few reasons for this.  First, Lo admits that she is not comfortable with my being with anyone else.  Second, I really feel no need to be with anyone else.  The question is how we got into this and I think we got into it because Lo (who is significantly younger than I) has a sexual appetite that exceeds my capabilities.  So, given that, and given that I’m very interested in pleasing Lo, I have no real need to have anyone else.  But, that said, I get a huge rush from hearing about Lo’s sexploits and/or sharing them with her.  I don’t really remember how we originally got into it, but it sort of developed naturally from Lo’s getting naked in front of my friends, hopping into bed with them, and doing other salacious things with people we interacted with socially.  When she saw that I not only didn’t mind, but enjoyed the flirting, we got a bit more serious trying to find her lovers and part-time boyfriends to keep her more satisfied.  

Lola – Baby, I was born this way!  


What was your first swinging experience like?

H.H. – We’ll I’ve given my point of view on this in the blog entry: “You Are The Best Thing – My Little Street Corner Girl.”  But here Lo can remark about it more from her point of view.  

Lola – Back seat of a car where I was penetrated in multiple places by multiple people. . . and it was all very hot and steamy until the copper showed up.   


How do you meet new people?

H.H. – So far we’ve met new people mostly through (sleazy as it may sound) Craigslist.  We’ve posted ads such as: 

Are you hard-up?  Are you handsome?  Hung? Healthy? D&D free?  Just need to get your rocks off on occasion and then split with no strings attached?  Well, then you may be for me.  I need a man who can come over on a moment’s notice, make me cum, and then leave on those nights when my bf isn’t home or is too tired for me.  I’m 1/2 of a Dec./May relationship (I’m Ms. May, of course) and my libido is too much for him to handle.  (Probably too much for you to handle too, but we’ll find out about that.) 

Musts: 1) Good-looking and fit (send photos to prove it); 2) Well-endowed.  (No need to show it in photo, but don’t fake it.  I’ll find out soon enough!); 3) Be reasonably literate (I want you to make me cum on the phone first.); 4) Be close by so that I can call you at 9, 10, 11, 12, or 1 for a quick one if I need it. 5) Be discrete. 

Must NOT: 1) Be looking for a relationship.  I have a loving man; I need more fucking; 2) Be disrespectful; 3) Interested in anything but sex. 

If this sounds like something you’re up for, then:  Send an e-mail with a pic (or four) and something about yourself.  Your pic gets mine.  If you like what you see, I will ask you to voice-verify.  If you’re good on the phone, then we can take it to the next level.




Within minutes we’d have 50 or more e-mail responses.  By the end of the day there would be hundreds to choose from.  99% of them were fake, ugly, didn’t follow instructions, illiterate, or disqualifying in some other way.  A small percentage of them were rude, saying things like, “Way too much work.”  Well, those guys have no idea what they’re missing.  And Lo certainly wasn’t missing out on them.  Once in a great while Lo would find a guy who was easy on the eyes, wrote a decent and interesting response, and voice verified in a way that made her want more.  

We’ve tried looking into other venues – swinger sites, swinger classifieds, etc. –  but for various reason we haven’t had much luck with that.  Interestingly enough, no one (or almost no one) has propositioned Lo via the blog.  Our readers seem to be more voyeurs than interested in talking to Lo on the phone or meeting up.  

Lola – We’re not really “in” a swinger life-style group and meeting people is really the biggest obstacle.  I can’t get my hands and mouth on enough of such couples.  


Does anyone in your family know you swing? Do your co-workers know? Has anyone ever tried to talk you out of your lifestyle?

H.H. – Certainly not anyone from our family (though there may be two or three people we could open-up to without judgment).  None of my co-workers know about my secret life with Lo.  Some friends know, but not all of them understand.  

Lola – I honestly think that when I tell people what I do, they either get freaked out so much that they don’t know what to say, or they are colleagues of mine in a field where, at least on the surface, the expectation is that we can celebrate and embrace all gender and sexual identities and expressions.  


What was your most memorable swing experience? Sexiest experience or most horrific hook-up?

Lola – None of them were particularly WOW!  And, thankfully, all of them were good.  Not one was horrific.  I’m still waiting for the BIGGIE!  (Or the 10 person orgy.)


Any pet peeves in the lifestyle? (things that are a major turn off/red flag for you two)

Lola – Allow me to list: 1) a person who can’t make eye contact; 2) a person with no opinion about anything; 3) a person who doesn’t insist on getting the bill, even when I’m willing to pay; 3) small endowments (of any kind); 4) Republicans; 5) people who hate their relationships, jobs, or reasons for being (without actually doing anything to change those things they hate); 6) people who kiss only with their tongues and not with their lips; 7) people who come on like they’re ready for this, but then back out; 8) anti-feminists; 9) wanting to do so many things sexually, but being in a place where that just can’t happen; 10) people who are not curious enough to inquire about my favorite subject – ME!  


Your advice to a couple(or single) new to the lifestyle?

Lola – Check in with yourselves and your partners frequently.  Proceed only when you feel like you and your partners feel safe, comfortable, and enthusiastic about moving forward.  This is not always as easy as it sounds.  Remember, this is supposed to be FUN.  

H.H. – Establish rules.  Be clear on hard rules vs. soft rules.  Follow the rules.  If rules are made to be broken, only break the soft ones, never the hard ones.  Does that make sense? 


I am always curious about the couples I meet and would love to give them a chance to share some of their stories here. I am going to be featuring a new established couple on each post. If you are interested in being a part of this Q & A just contact me and let me know.

Q & A Swinger Style ~ Rich & Gina

Swinger Q & A

I am starting a new feature here on KissinBlueKaren. This is the first, in what I hope will be many interviews with a swinger couple.

Rich and Gina are a married couple that have been together for 18 years. They have been swinging for 13 years. I have personally known Rich and Gina for a few years now. They are the kind of people that know everyone and everyone knows them, or at least has seen them. They are the real deal. A super sexy couple with zero drama.


We’re looking for other couples and singles which we are sexually attracted to. We both take very good care of our bodies and are looking for others who do the same. Good hygiene is also a must…soap & water, deodorant, toothpaste & mouth wash are your friends. If you want to meet us, please make sure your pics are up-to-date! We keep ours very current. We want to meet who’s in the pics, not who was in the pics a year to 7 years ago! A lot can change in one year! We are not into only being “watched” or only “watching”. We are a full swap only couple and prefer separate room play after some girl/girl if the girl is truly bi and NOT being pushed! However, we’re not opposed to playing in the same room as we usually always do in the Hedo Room at Eyz on Saturdays! ;)

These two are living the lifestyle that some people only dream about. A very fun couple that are both enjoying their lifestyle choice.

How did the two of you get into the lifestyle? Whose idea was it?

There was a hot blonde that sat next to Rich in a class he was taking, the last night of it she gave him a really dirty letter telling him how she was going to fuck him.  He told me about the letter, and I was touched that we have such a close relationship that he told me.  As he was describing what the letter said, I was getting turned on and said, “She just wants to fuck you?  You know what, have her over, I want to watch!”

What was your first swinging experience like?

It was a love/hate kind of feeling (we full swapped).  It really turned us on and hurt our feelings a little at the same time, but we fucked the hell out of each other when we got home and for the whole next day after.  Then the next time we swung, it was all good.  Just the first time was a little awkward.

How do you meet new people?

Online and tell them to meet us at the club.

Does anyone in your family know you swing? Do your co-workers know? Has anyone ever tried to talk you out of your lifestyle?

Our parents know, but we are very private about it for our business.  We don’t want clients at work to know, it’s our private life.

What was your most memorable swing experience? Sexiest experience or most horrific hook-up?

Most memorable was the first time.  Most horrific was the time we met a couple out to dinner, then 10 min. after we’re there, they tell us that some friends invited us all over to their hotel room across the street for a drink.  Turned out to be a bareback hotel party!  The couple we went there with were on the other side of the place with God knows who, and a couple we weren’t attracted to grabbed us.  Yes, we left fast and in shock.

Any pet peeves in the lifestyle? (things that are a major turn off/red flag for you two)

Cleanliness.  Major turn off is bad body odor.

Your advice to a couple(or single) new to the lifestyle?

Don’t just look for one couple.  Always mix it up and keep others in rotation.  This will keep the drama out of your life and you’ll be happy swinging!

I am always curious about the couples I meet and would love to give them a chance to share some of their stories here. I am going to be featuring a new established couple on each post. If you are interested in being a part of this Q & A just contact me and let me know.

Saturday Night Done Right -Part 2

Eyz Wide Shut

It was still pretty early in the night. We left their house around 9:30 and picked up a cake before heading out to the club. We arrived at the club in almost record time. The owner of the club took care of the cake when we walked in. The place was packed, everyone was enjoying the music and drinks. I was a bit overdressed for a night out, wearing jeans and a black tight shirt. Normally I wear a bit less. This did not go unnoticed, and more than a few couples commented on my attire. I gotta say that I was much more comfortable then usual. Being more comfortable I wasted no time getting my drink on before spending half the night dancing my ass off.

The club had a contest going on. They handed out 20 fake bills at the door to everyone upon entrance. They said to give them to the ladies. The contest made me extra motivated to make friends with everyone that I thought might have some money left to give me. I had collected a lot of paper money. Most of it from strangers. When it came time to see who the winner was a few couples came up at the last moment and added their money to my stack. I was delighted to find out that these folks recognized me from my website. I am not normally so damn social at the club. Saturday night was a perfect mix of loosing my inhibitions due to alcohol, celebrating good times, and really enjoying good company. I ended up placing 3rd and winning a cute butt plug which I promptly gave away to someone who said they recognized me from my website. The other winners were one of the birthday girls and a sexy blond who was also dancing her ass of that night.

At some point, I was outside with a bunch of people. Some one handed me a microphone. (Please don’t ever give a drunk gemini a microphone) It wasn’t on (thank god!) but we all enjoyed some “You lost that lovin feeling” karaoke impromptu style. Yes folks, it was that kind of a night. Drinking and debauchery, embarrassing crooning out of tune. I was totally that kind of girl on Saturday night!

The club was celebrating it’s 3rd anniversary. Every year on this night they pick a new Mr & Mrs Eyz Wide Shut. The couple that wins gets free membership for a year. This year they gave chips out to the regulars and then they let the audience decide who should win. We received a chip, but we didn’t win. It felt nice to be nominated. I really had a great time at the club. I am really looking forward to the New Years Eve party there. Last year it was crazy fun! Hopefully I will not be working that night. Next weekend is swinger speed dating with Rebecca Ammon.

So we drank, danced and flirted throughout the night. When it came time for us to go next door, we choose to play in the big hedo room. The room was packed and I literally had to move people over so we could have a place to play. There were quite a few couples just watching. People may think that in an orgy room it is all no holds barred fucking going on. The club is not like that at all. People are very respectful and would only join in if they were invited. The hedo room is a great place to play if you like to be watched. There are beds all over the room. I grabbed some towels and made us a space. We both stripped down and I had Miguel sit back so I could suck his cock. It didn’t take me long to get him nice and hard due in part by the view he had of couples fucking all over the room. Miguel reciprocated by licking my pussy as I laid back on the bed. Miguel and I also put on a bit of a show. I was on top fucking him at first and then he stood at the edge of the bed and hammered his cock into me as I laid on my back. He came with a grunt into me. We were both completely spend after that. It was a very good fucking night.

I went and cleaned myself up for the second time that night before we left to make the drive home. Last Saturday was one of the best nights we had all year. It wasn’t just the sex. It was being with so many people who enjoy the lifestyle. We are really lucky to be enjoying a sexy swinger lifestyle.

Be Aggressive


Miguel and I are not a sexually aggressive couple. I don’t walk around at clubs making out with people I don’t know. There might be a preconceived notion out there that maybe all swingers are really sexually aggressive. It just isn’t true. I have met a good mix of sexually aggressive and sexually passive lovers. I have played both sides, depending on the situation and mood.I don’t ever want to be the over-confident, super aggressive woman at the party. I know how this makes other people feel, so I try not to do it. We definitely don’t want to come across like Pepé Le Pew! I am a bit passive-aggressive. I know, I hate this about myself, but I have come to realize it is exactly that term that describes my nature. I am really only super aggressive when I mix liquor. (liquid courage!)

That is not to say that I can’t be sexually aggressive. It is just not really my comfort zone.

What happens when two non-aggressive swinging couples meet…a lot of talking. A lot of story telling. Miguel and I can talk a lot. I have to admit that we are great ice-breakers, not so expert at deal-closing. We have played aggressor at times when the mix dictates, usually with new couples. Miguel is great at being able to read people and he usually initiates something.

I think sexual aggression has a lot to do with self-confidence. Being non-aggressive I try to gauge people by their body language. I can misconstrue your body language for non-attraction. More than that I just hate initiating things.

We went out last Saturday to meet another couple. We had a “date” with this couple last week. Chemistry was there and so we agreed to meet them in their home this time. They were really great hosts. The night they had planned was perfect, complete with dinner, drinks, a full body massage, and a trip to a sex toy shop. (Btw, can I tell you that if you have a chance to hook-up with a masseuse who loves their work, you should do it! I got massaged from my head down to my toes, I still feel great two days later.)

The problem, well it wasn’t really a red flag type of problem, was that neither of us were really sexually aggressive. We eventually did get to close the deal, but it took a long time. I don’t think it was a lack of attraction, merely a lack of sexual aggression. I am sure that the next time we meet up with this couple it will be less awkward. It makes me wonder why it isn’t sexually awkward every time we swing. Somehow it usually isn’t.

The times I am sexually aggressive it is with people I know, who I know are interested. I think this is something I need to work on. I know I am attractive. Maybe it is better to get turned down occasionally then to miss out on something by being sexually passive. (Think about how much we all grew to love Pepé Le Pew!) Aggressive is better.