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Toys for Couples


How can we make sex more fun? Okay, so nobody really asks that because sex is just about the most fun thing you can do in this lifetime. Seriously, how can we take the most fun thing we can do and make it better? Make it so that she gets off every time? Most woman need a little help, some don’t need any. I actually do need help during sex to get off. I have a few go-to toys that work consistently and are easy to use.

First, and my favorite, is the small powerful clitoral vibe. There are plenty to choose from. Like power? Try a RO-88mm Bullet.  For less than $30, this vibe has tons of power and it is small enough to fit between two bodies. There are loads of other small clitoral vibrators that can be used at the right moment to enhance an orgasm for her and make it extra fun for him as well. I actually keep a few clitoral toys on hand next to the bed. They are always ready to go and there are a few of them just in case one loses power before I get off. These toys are small and can easily be hidden. Most of them are waterproof and easy to clean.

Cock rings are another option and they can be fun for both partners. If you have the right ring at the right angle. I really like the LELO Tor II but honestly it can be too tight on some men. Also, it has a big price tag. Fit is really important. The guy would have to enjoy a cock ring, some men don’t. The Sonic Ring Kit would be a good one to start out with. It is inexpensive and has a removable vibrator if all else fails. If you have never tried a ring, give it a go. You never know how much it can add to the experience.

There are some vibrators that work during sex without having to be worn by the male. The We-Vibe is an example of those types of vibes. The woman wears them and it vibrates the clitoris and the g-spot. Hands free stimulation so he (or she) can still penetrate. Positioning is really important and not all women will be able to enjoy this much if the fit isn’t right. The vibrations might not be powerful enough for some women. When this vibe works it is magical, but when it doesn’t it is a big ole waste of money.

I did not mention any g-spot toys in this because I only want to highlight toys that (hetero) couples can use during intercourse. If a couple is into anal play there are also loads of those type toys on the market. Most can be worn during sex (in either partner) to help make the most fun thing we do, even better. For anal toys I caution people to be real careful with materials. You really don’t want to play with something in that orifice that can’t be sterilized. Silicone and glass are at the top of my list of safe materials. Silicone is somewhat better for first times since it usually has some kind of give. Silicone is easy to clean with a 10% bleach solution and can even be boiled for 3 minutes to sterilize. For anal play something like the Silk is a good first time toy. The nice thing about this toy is the flared base making it less likely get lost. Once you get more experience a butt plug is great during sex. Most plugs are designed to stay in as long as care to wear it. Also, most toys can be felt by the man through the vaginal wall.

I hope this helps you figure out where to start. There are a lot of options. Babeland has a number of guides that will show you where to start if you still have questions.

This post was sponsored by Babeland.

Computer Breakdown


My work schedule has kept me from writing anything useful this week. I used to be less understanding when people told me they had “no time” to blog. The past four days I have enjoyed less than 3 wakeful hours at home. Just to make things worse, one of those precious hours was wasted in “car circles” waiting for little people. I love my little people, but I hate car circles.) So now I get it when people say they have “no time”. I am enjoying a day off right now. I was a bit shocked by the amount of things I found in my e-mail related to my site.

While checking those e-mails on Tuesday, my computer went black. It shut off and decided not to come back on. My Asus died on a Tuesday and there was nothing I could do about it. I am in a serious sweat to try to extract my content from my old hard drive. The fact that I could pull the hard drive out shows me how much I have evolved since I started this blog.

Okay, so Asus has recovered from a virus and held thousands of images and dozens of videos for me. It was witness to various encounters and my place to vent about crazy folks. It was a place I found my socially awkward self a place to be cool in the online world. I was recently diagnosed with a panic disorder. I have to confess that I am actually a socially awkward shy person. People who have met me would probably not believe it. I mask this unflattering world view with alcohol and feigned confidence. I worry about what people actually think of me, although their opinion is really none of my business. I fret over getting all the details of my appearance just right, and I am seldom happy with the outcome. I want to be honest with you, so you know who you are dealing with.

I bought a new laptop, a Sony Vaio. It is a bit of an upgrade since it features Windows 8 and a touchscreen. Windows 8 is totally different. I have been using Windows 7 for a long time. (Please don’t try to talk my into a Mac, I will never go there) I am in the process of recovering pictures and music. I will let you know how it goes.

I got a lot of reviews to do. Loads of contests just ended. I got more giveaways coming up as well… Oh and another website asked me to do a “class” with them next week. It is a Swinger intro class, so I will be answering questions and talking about my experience. I am a bit nervous. I promise to share all my awkwardness here for you to enjoy/laugh at.

I found myself on twitter this week. Trying to get some inspiration and maybe see if anyone else has suffered computer death and lived to tell the tale. I found some nice people who are trying to help me. @DomSigns from Molly’s Daily Kiss. (Yes folks, the #1 blogger from the top 100 sexy blogs 2012) I am so grateful for the time they have taken to try to help me. I am hopeful that I can get some content recovered. If not I guess that is all the more reason to the camera out…

Struggling with the Swing


I have been wanting to blog about our last two hook-ups. The thing is that after thinking about the details, I have decided not to. There are some really good reasons for this…#1 reason, these folks read my blog. That puts undue pressure on my writing. I hate to fucking sensor myself. Sometimes it is not awesome that people actually read my posts. I hate the pressure of putting everything in a positive light. It is not all good, but it wasn’t all bad either.

One of the factors I have encountered with these last two hook-ups.


I hate it, but it happens. I have shared before about my struggle with jealousy. I don’t always keep my emotions in check. I am fiercely jealous. I don’t/can’t stomach the thought of someone enjoying Miguel without me being right there. I have had my jealousy rage almost out of control before. This wasn’t like that. This was like a slight oversight. No rules were really broken on purpose. We were in the same room per se, but…same room slightly out of my line of vision. No, that’s not cool. Also really not cool, when I make someone else feel something like that when we play.

I am really sorry for that.

It is not that he had sex with another woman. It has nothing to do with her really. The mistake I made last year was that I thought it was person specific. We play with different people almost exclusively. You can think/talk about it all you want. You can’t always control how you feel. One of the most important thing about swinging is communication. I am very grateful that we proceeded into the lifestyle in a way that didn’t make me feel threatened. I felt like I could have stopped at any point and just knowing that made me feel free to explore until we evolved into the a comfortable place. I didn’t really feel any jealousy until last year. Then I felt like we needed to stop right there. As a result, we took a time out. Since communication is so essential I shared what it was about it that bothered me.

I don’t like the way the last two hook-ups went. If I could go back, I would have done things differently. I can’t. I can’t fix the fact that I made someone else feel like that. I know it was not anyone’s intention. I still would have went out on the dates. I still wouldn’t change our lifestyle. I am actually really glad that I felt jealous. Fear fuels my jealousy. Here is what happens as a result of my fear, I become a more attentive lover. I want nothing more than to please and keep my love’s affections. It is not that I actually think Miguel would leave me for a swinger hook-up, that is just ridiculous! It is just that I want to share in every orgasm he has with a woman. I want to be there to enjoy it. So what! So this is how we swing. I don’t think there is anything wrong with a little bit of jealousy, as long as it is communicated and not exploited.

Excuse me

Mind Vomit

I know I have been only posting sporadically lately. I feel very far away from my site at the moment.

I started my new job. The great news is that it doesn’t suck. It isn’t overwhelming. I am putting my learned skills to use and that feels really good. I find myself not watching the clock at work. I can’t really express here with words how fucking good it is to have a job that doesn’t insult my intelligence or my integrity. I feel really lucky. I know I may not feel this way next year, or next month even. In this economy getting this job was such a blessing. To think that just a few months ago I considered leaving my career due to lack of opportunities. I know that spell of hard times has made me really appreciating how things are going now. Strange to feel this way.

I got my other big wish two weeks ago and my babysitter moved out. The details are complicated. It needed to happen. I felt suffocated in my own home. I have a big empty room now. I also have no adult to leave home with my kids. I didn’t really think that would be a big deal. The older kids are legally old enough, but it makes me uncomfortable. Fucking hindsight is always 20/20! So we will be going out less. Really trying to make each night out count.

We did get out last Saturday night. We chatted with a couple we see there often. The man seemed a bit mad. I prodded, cuz that is what I do, and he shared that he was frustrated with going out and not hooking up. He expressed frustration about the distance, the cover charge, the cost of drinks. All of that, and not even a glimmer of hope that there would be a hook-up.

I bit my tongue.

The truth is that I have heard these same complaints from Miguel before. I agree that there is always a bit of pressure to make a hook-up happen when you go out. It just seems like a pointless expense without it, but… sometimes I just want to go out. I sometimes don’t want a hook-up. I am still milling this over. I could totally understand his frustration. I see both sides of this argument. But I have to admit that we didn’t hook-up with anyone at this party.

We met a lot of nice people. We even met a poly/TPE/swinger couple. So rare at a swinger club. We talked about how fetish and swinger don’t mix so well. They could if they had an understanding of the ground rules, but people are stupid. Each side has views on the other and generally, they just don’t mix well. It is ridiculous that swingers or fetish folk might be judgmental of anyone, but I have witnessed it. Once I really opened myself up to being sex positive, there is no going back. I am committed to keeping an open mind and hopefully we will be checking out some of the recommended venues coming up in the coming year. I don’t care what people think, this is my life and I don’t want to miss a thing.

So that is my mind vomit of the moment. The other thing really on my mind is the tragedy that happened last Friday. I don’t really want to talk about it, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I know a lot of people, like me, are still in shock. That something like that could even happen. I am heartbroken. I keep thinking about it. I guess it really hit home that this is the world we live in. I don’t really know what else to say about it that hasn’t been said already. I am trying to not waste today.


Q & A Swinger Style ~Fifi & Edwin

Swinger Q & A

Fifi and Edwin are a couple that has been in the lifestyle for over 10 years. They have a webcam website ( where they offer pictorials and cam shows for paid members. They also have loads of movies that were shot with consensual swinger couples. We have actually never played with Fifi and Edwin but we know a lot of the same people and play at some of the same places.

They are open about their lifestyle on the web and even host swinger “orientation” classes at Caliente resort and Eyz Wide Shut. Although nothing like experience can prepare you for the lifestyle, being able to ask questions from people that have probably been there/done that is very reassuring. So many people are curious and just want a peek at what it is we do, why we do it, and how we meet new people. Most swingers are friendly, social people. Fifi and Edwin are picture perfect typical swingers. They enjoy a healthy balance of work and play and have found a way to share their love of the lifestyle with others. Miguel and I don’t get out as much as these two, but in all fairness they don’t have kids living at home anymore like we do. They have nine children between them. So the fact that they even made it out of the house…like ever, gives me hope that this too shall pass.

We are seeking committed couples who like to dance, touch & play. Couples who take care of their selves, are in love with each other, love to create their own fun but lead a balanced life always spark our interest. We are also looking for couples to join us in our private weekend adventures as we explore taking pics together and looking for that special couple for our first video together.  We are an educated, happily married, no pressure couple that loves to dance and live in the moment. We have a positive outlook on life; we are easy to get along with, and great fun to be around and party with! Look for FifiandFriends on FaceBook and MILFifi on Twitter and YouTube.



How did the two of you get into the lifestyle? Whose idea was it?

 I (Fifi) have been a swinger since age 27, so it was my idea.  As I would listen to my wonderful husband (Edwin) discuss different affairs that he had in his previous marriage, he will tell me different stories and places he had been, how he felt about it, etc.  So, it just stayed in my mind after we gofifi3t married.  A few months later, I brought it up again and it was just a conversation, not that I felt Edwin was going to have an affair behind my back or anything but it was something that played on his mind – why he did things, so it became a discussion on many occasions and I finally said to Edwin…”I think I can solve this – you need to be a swinger” . From there it took off, we were married in September 2000 and we started swinging together every weekend since the old Pleasure Palace (PP now Eyz Wide Shut) opened its doors in December of 2000; when there were 5 owners and we got to know several Sams and of course Andrew & Susan too!  

What was your first swinging experience like?

 It was a full swap mind blowing re-memorable (played over and over again) fifi5experience at Pleasure Palace.  There were two beds in the same room and the more experienced couple invited us over to share their bed.  I (Edwin) asked Fifi first, “what would you like to do”, her reply was “if we go, we can never go back”, and my reply was “Let’s Go!”  Now here it is twelve years later and this year (2012) we started teaching lifestyle101 classes at EWS, Caliente and via our private adventure website as part of the Adult Seminar network.  These classes are for new couples who are interested in getting involved in a lifestyle, where the possibility exists.

How do you meet new people?Attachment-1

 We meet folks every day on the internet and every week at various lifestyle clubs, nudist resorts (Caliente), private parties, and on many many lifestyle vacations (Hedo-Jamaica , Caribe-DR, Cruises, etc) every year.  Our circle of quality friendships has grown over the years.  We also have a very simple and fun adult business where we help other couples learn how to Pay for their Play time and more important Fund their weekly private adventure FUN times together.  We just returned from a Lifestyle Cruise on the Royal Caribbean Freedom of the Seas, along with 1800+ other couples.  We will never ever be the same again!  Since we believe, the mind should work like a parachute (it works best when open) going forward we will only vacation with other lifestyle (open minded couples) folks.  We are organizing a new FifiandFriends lifestyle vacation (Dream Pleasure Tours) starting in 2013 and we plan to continue this tradition every year.

Does anyone in your family know you swing? Do your co-workers know? Has anyone ever tried to talk you out of your lifestyle?fifi

 Edwin’s family all know about our lifestyle choices and some of my family does too.  We use to be very open with family and close friends but now we try harder to be more discrete on what we are doing or where we are going.  Most Monday mornings at the gym, when folks ask us how our weekend was, we simply reply with…”our weekend, you want to know how our weekend was? Well take your best birthday weekend and multiple by ten that was our weekend, how was your weekend?”  Our standard reply to most non-lifestyle folks is that “we are both very happy and more in love today than yesterday.”

What was your most memorable swing experience? Sexiest experience or most horrific hook-up?

 Driving to South Florida for private penthouse parties and realizing on the way home, we never made it to the dance floor?  Since we have been swinging together every weekend since December 2000, we have a very long list of memories that will last a lifetime.  We share most of private adventures during our weekly webcam shows from our private members-only web site (

Any pet peeves in the lifestyle? (things that are a major turn off/red flag for you two)

 Our fantasy is that everyone knew just how awesome this lifestyle can be especially when exploring with your best friend and lover too.  Therefore, we always approach an encounter or evening out with one simple rule, to have a good time together no matter dynamics are in play.  We never ever try to over analyze this lifestyle; if it flows we go and if not, we simply move on.

Your advice to a couple(or single) new to the lifestyle?

 We all have regular real life jobs, families and various demands on our time so this lifestyle should be about FUN not work.  Do your best to flee from drama (other people’s problems) and if it is work, why do it…make your own sunshine and make if FifiFUN!

I am always curious about the couples I meet and would love to give them a chance to share some of their stories here. I am going to be featuring a new established couple on each post. If you are interested in being a part of this Q & A just contact me and let me know.

10 Explosive Female Orgasms

[Via: 10 Explosive Female Orgasm Types (Must-Know Info!)]

I found this and had to share it. They forgot the anal orgasm. How many woman are blessed with the ability to achieve even half of these?

…Hey Jealousy!