Archive for lifestyle

2012 Best Sex Blogger Nominations

2012 Best Sex Blogger Nominations are open at Between My Sheets. This is a list I would ♥love♥ to see my name on again. If you enjoy reading my blog, please nominate KissinBluekaren to be on this list! Of course I encourage you to vote for your favorites. Rori, of Between My Sheets, will pick the top 100 based on the nominations. There are some consistently sexy blogs that deserve to be on this list, you can nominate as many as you wish. This year is the 5th year of the Top sex Bloggers list so Rori is giving away 5 different sex toys this year. A comment with a nomination gets you a chance to win!

Here are my top picks for 2012 (in no particular order):

  • This blog is consistently sexy. They have been in a TPE relationship for a long time and have been blogging also for a long time. She writes with such honesty, and almost daily, about her life with her master Anakin. There are lots of sexy pics. Padme is always happy to hear from her readers.
  • If case you don’t know about one of the hottest blogs in the UK, please check this blog out! She has a huge following and for good reason. She writes smart about sex and her life as a collared submissive. Molly is so much more than a submissive though check out the blog and you’ll see what I mean.
  • This blog is written by a male artist in a swinging relationship. He doesn’t write any sort of theme but his writing is good and entertaining. He is smart and sexy and talented. All this bleeds into his blog for an entertaining spot on the web.
  • My friend Rebecca is also a swinger in the Tampa Bay area. She writes often on this blog giving advice about the lifestyle. Rebecca is sexy as hell and has a few side projects (the penis parade and the lady bits parade). Her site is entertaining, relevant, and thought provoking.
  • I found this site right after we started swinging and it has a wealth of information for newbies. Most of it is through Q & A with both the male and female answering reader questions. They don’t claim to know everything but they handle topics with honesty and experience of a couple that has been swinging for years.

I didn’t include any of my favorite sex toy reviewers on this list because reviewing sex toys doesn’t necessarily make you a “sex blogger” automatically. Although some of them do write about the adult industry and very smartly. Some of the reviewers never bear anything on the web except their opinions of a product. Of course, this is a completely different style of entertainment that I dabble in sometimes. Some reviewers do it with more style than others. I would have a whole different list if I included sex toy reviewers.

There are very few perks for revealing my sex life on the web. The few comments I receive and being on this list would be thank you enough to continue for another sexy year! I hope you will go and nominate KissinBlueKaren for this Best Sex Bloggers 2012 list. Click here to put in your nomination and get the chance to win one of 5 sex toys courtesy of Between My Sheets.

Breaking the Ice in the Lifestyle


Meeting new couples in the lifestyle can be a challenge. Most new couples find it hard to actually “hook-up” with others as they try to break into the swinger lifestyle. Most couples may try by placing an profile on a swinger site. I have written previously about the unwritten rules of creating a profile on swinger sites before and offered some suggestions. We have profiles on a lot of sites, (Kasidie, SwingLifeStyle, Swinger Date Club, and Adult Friend Finder just to name a few). Having your profile on more than one site should increase your odds but even having the best profile does not guarantee you success. You may still end up meeting picture collectors, and playing e-mail/text ping-pong with people who are not afraid of wasting your time.

I remember going to a club for the first time and feeling like breaking the ice was just too difficult. How do I find a reason to talk to someone I might want to hook-up with? Miguel and I are both pretty social and we have become pretty bold. At first we were wall flowers and didn’t talk to anyone. Why even go out? I wanted to play with people but didn’t know how to approach people. One of the best ways to meet new people is just to walk up to them and say hello. This approach won’t really work if everyone is already talking to another couple. There are cliques in some clubs and most regulars have friends they socialize with. Breaking into a conversation is just rude and we don’t do that. The more you go to a place the more you begin to recognize people. Once you have established that you want to play and your partner is in, how do you proceed? After a few nights out at any club, you can see who comes a lot. I am not suggesting you wait that long. So what do you do when you see a couple you want to hook-up with, just walk up and say hello? What if you or your partner is too shy for that? What if you are at a new club?

Most swinger clubs want people to have a great night. They want you to find what you are looking for, and hopefully make a friend. They know that you will probably come back if you do. Most swinger clubs have all kinds of games at their disposal, these could be great for a home party as well. We have played some ridiculous games and some really funny games. We struggled with shyness until we decided to start playing the games at clubs. Having been in the lifestyle for a few years now, I have noticed how much more social people can be after a few games. Playing games when you are new is almost always a good idea. Games are suppose to get people out of their shell and talking to each other. Some are better at that than others. One of my favorite “games” is the Speed Dating game. The idea is pretty simple. You go out and spend a few minutes talking to each couple until everyone has met each other. Most swingers are friendly social people, so this is genius. Imagine if you could meet a bunch of new people at a club! Participating in games increases the meeting new people which increases chances for success at swinging. If you get a chance at a club to play a game, I say go for it! You are likely to meet new people and maybe even win a prize for your night out.

Some tips for meeting new people:

  • Keep communication open with other couples by NOT sitting in the corner anymore. Move to a more approachable area.You are out to meet people, not just converse with your s/o!
  • Be yourself and keep it simple. Look for something complimentary to say if nothing else comes to you…this works almost anywhere, btw.
  • Talk about your experience, don’t be afraid to say if you don’t have any. “We have never been here before, is it usually this crowded/dark/loud/quiet?” is a great way to meet new people.
  • I am surprised at how often simply asking “Is this your first time here?” opens up the door for Miguel and I to talk to new people. Even if the answer is no, there is usually a story to go with it.
  • Be nice! Don’t talk about other people in a negative way. Swinger are a small community and you want to make a good impression.

After a few hook-ups breaking the ice will be easier, even the quietest couple can make new friends if they try. Don’t be afraid to talk to people, you have at least one common interest after all, right?

♥ Good news for people close to Tampa, FL…Rebecca Ammon is hosting a speed dating event at Eyz Wide Shut on September 1st. I hope to meet you there! ♥

Mojo Back

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We tried to do something different this past Saturday night. In case you don’t know, Saturday is our official date night. We almost always go out. Unless one of us is sick, or we have no money (actually, even then we still try). This Saturday we were going to try to go to a local swinger house party. Let me just say here that the location was all wrong. Not that we live in a great neighborhood or we are fucking snobs or anything, but somethings you can just tell by the location. So we scraped that plan when we realized where it was and went to Eyz Wide Shut.

We have discussed how we never really play that much when we go to Eyz, like maybe we lost our mojo. The truth is that we, (and by we I mean me) get so fucking caught up in everything swinging just falls to the side. I have been trying to figure out how to get my mojo back. We talked to other couples who frequent the club and I realized it is not just us. Sometimes it is just like that. Yo can do “all the right stuff” (be available, talk to people, invest time with a couple…) and still not end up swinging. I decided to just have fun, and try not to be so hard on myself about it. So when a couple we have seen a few times started to dance with me, I just had fun and let it happen. Of course, when they asked if we wanted to play we said yes.

>>Fast forward through a few drinks and some dancing. We all went next door to the lodging side to play.

I was wearing a corset and a little black skirt. We got a room right away and as soon as we were all in I stripped off my panties and pulled my skirt up. The girl was wearing a low cut top, skirt and fishnet stockings. What I didn’t realize is that underneath her top was a peek-a-boo bra, and her stockings were crotchless. (Thinking now how I have to get a pair of crotchless fishnet, She looked so hot!) She had nice full breasts and a clean smooth pussy. I buried my face in her snatch and worked my fingers on her g-spot.

I almost forgot about the guys in the room until Miguel stuck his fingers into me from behind. I decided to give Miguel a taste of her and I moved out so Miguel could move in. He went to town licking and sucking her pussy. Her man took his opportunity to go down on me and we enjoyed our first full swap in over a month with this couple. His cock was long and pretty thick. Try as I might I could not get all of it in my mouth. I did my best licking and sucking while working my hands on the shaft. I couldn’t wait for him to fuck me with this monster. I was practically begging him to fuck me. He instructed me to lay back and then he impaled me with his cock. Miguel and the girl were busy fucking right next to us. I was so turned on I came after a few thrusts. He fucked me good. Like a jackhammer he drilled his cock into me.

Miguel took a break after a while but this guy just kept going. He finally came and we decided to watch Miguel and his wife. It was hot to watch and we made out. He licked all over my neck and shoulders. “Pull my hair”, I told him. He kissed me then real nice and deep while he pulled my hair. I felt him get semi-hard again while we made out and I worked my mouth on his cock again getting his cock back to life. I got on my knees in anticipation and placed my ass near the end of the bed. The bed was really high and my thighs were almost flush with the bed as he fucked me again. He fucked me slow and then fast. He stopped a few times to tell me how hot my ass looked as his dipped his fingers into my rosebud. I came again. I looked over and caught the last few seconds as the wife orally manipulated Miguel into cuming into her mouth.

It was a great night. It seems like my mojo is just fine!

On Rejection

One of the most awkward things in the lifestyle is rejection. Most swingers are friendly happy people. How do you say “no” to people you want to remain friends with? Not ever couple is equally sexy. I am sure a lot of people could say that about Miguel and I. I have a whole list of reasons for rejecting someone. Just because I swing doesn’t mean I don’t have standards. On the flip side, I know I am not going to be attractive to everyone. We have been rejected plenty. There is a correct way to handle rejection. It is hard not to take it personally, but really, rejection is inevitable. We are a small group, eventually you will probably run into that couple again. Burning bridges is not something a seasoned couple does in this lifestyle. I am always shocked when I hear about people becoming rude when they get rejected. We have been cursed at and blocked, even threatened in a few rare occasions, all just for rejecting someone? Miguel has come up with the perfect phase that handles the awkwardness of a rejection.

“One of us isn’t interested in one of you.”

This releases blaming. We have been pretty fortunate that most couples are good at reading body language. Occasionally we have to walk away from people that are pursuing us. Just because we are at the club doesn’t mean we “have” to hook-up with anyone. I had a conversation with Rebecca and we talked about how we handle rejecting a couple that we don’t want to play with. She had a fun rule to pull out when she didn’t want a re-match with a couple,

“We only hook-up with a couple once.”

Sounds reasonable. Anything more than once would feel like dating. I know a few couples that really only ever hook-up with each other. To me that just seems weird and could invite too much jealousy. We have had a few re-matches with couples and it worked out most of the time. I definitely don’t want to date another couple though. Of course when you swing like that eventually one of you “takes one for the team.” We always said we wouldn’t be like that. We really try not to. Swing long enough and it happens. Another swinger friend I spoke with said she and her man removed themselves completely for a while after too many times of “taking one for the team.” It happens. A relationship is work and a swinger couple has to be even more diligent due to extra sexual factors.

We used to be more personal. It is so easy to reject someone at a swinger club. At a club if you don’t want to play with someone, just exit the conversation. I may see too many things at a club as rejection, but I don’t ever want to be that person that can’t take a hint. On the other hand, I have a short attention span. Then I get distracted and it seems that I have rejected someone, when that is hardly ever the case. We go to the club so often that I forget we are there to try to meet people and hook-up. I miss the ease of meeting a couple for drinks and then going from there. Of course, then we might be back to “taking one for the team”. Plus that requires so much work for Miguel. It is “work” he will enjoy I am sure. Things might move slower like this, but I think we are missing out by trying to “compete” at the club.

What amazes me in the lifestyle is when I think about when we have been rejected or taken one for the team. Even after all the b.s. that we might deal with, it is still the exception and not the rule.

Fifty Shades of Grey

I just finished reading the book one in the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy by E.L. James. I am just torn on what to think about this book…

On the real, the writing was not all that. The characters lacked the sort of depth necessary to carry a trilogy. This book is a cheap thrill full of hot sex and lover’s quarrels. I have read much better books. None of them had the descriptive sex scenes of hinting at the BDSM lifestyle like this book does.

This is erotic fiction, with a big twist. The main character is a 21 year old virgin woman who meets a Dom male she can’t stay away from. He can’t stay away from her either. The book’s erotic scenes were very hot. They were hot in an un-vanilla kind of way. They were erotic and involved spanking and some bondage. I enjoyed them thoroughly. That is not what is so disturbing about this book. The disturbing part is how the Dom became interested in the BDSM lifestyle. The Dom is fifty shades of fucked up. Assuming this is how or maybe the only reason someone might be interested in this lifestyle is unspoken. It is hinted about throughout the book. What exactly was she thinking when she made the male character so fucking fragile? Is the author pro or anti lifestyle? Needless to say I am almost shocked this book is even on the best seller list. I so torn on this book.


Do I support this book? It is hot and brings to light a very sexy lifestyle that I think needs to be more mainstream. I loved the dissection of “the contract”. I know some couple’s have them. I doubt they go to the extent the book does, but it is laying out the lifestyle for people who have no idea. I get it.

Do I shun the book? I think this author is trying to say that you have to have had some sort of trauma to choose a BDSM lifestyle. This is bad, very bad. That makes me want to hate the author. A person’s turn-ons are very personal. I know you could love the BDSM lifestyle without having been traumatized. This sort of thinking drives the lifestyle further into the shadows. Kink does not equal crazy…period.

I would love to hear your thoughts.



Loose Ends in the Lifestyle

Eyz Wide Shut

Last night we went out to the club. Due to a series of unfortunate events I will be working the next few weekends. Working weekends=no Saturday night out fun. Bummer, I know! I was promised this is just temporary. Don’t even get me started about what happened. Let’s just say I like my job a lot less these days. Moving on…

So we go out to the club last night, Thursday night. I had very low expectations for the crowd and I was right. The crowd was really small but surprisingly we met some new people and had a few established friends in the crowd. When we first got there Miguel headed straight to the bar to get us some drinks. I went to harass the DJ and when I met up with him I was mauled by a familiar female. This girl is never that touchy so right away I knew something was rotten in Denmark. As soon as she spoke I heard the slur and smelled the alcohol. This chic was wasted. Not only that, but her eyes were puffy meaning she had been crying. This was a complete surprise. I have seen people get drunk at the club, hell even I have gotten a bit sloppy drunk, but this was waaaaasssted drunk.

Miguel and I tried to be polite. “Ooh my, what happened?” But I really shouldn’t have asked. It was a bad break-up. Hey! We have all been there, right? I have been that chic, but I don’t have to like seeing it. Painful to watch, really. The worst part was that in the middle of everything she invited us to a party she is hosting tonight. We couldn’t go even if we wanted to. I am sure today will be another drunk, crying party delaying the inevitable sober reality check. Fuck! I have so been there and it totally sucks, but there is a time and a place for that kind of drama. It is not at the club on my night out. Gah! Anyways, she verified she had my correct phone number. Then at like 1:30 am, we were at home and just about asleep, my phone rings. It was her and I let it go to voice-mail. WTF could motivate someone to call at that time and at that stage of drunken night out? I already know because, well, let’s just say I have family like that. Nothing good comes of those phone calls. I loose my cool and usually just end up telling them to go ahead and slit their wrists so I can get some fucking sleep. (I am not going to be getting any prizes for patience anytime soon, but I just have no room in my head for anyone’s pity party, grow the fuck up!)

It is almost a joke when we go out to the club. People that know me, know about my blog. They always joke about stuff that is “blog-worthy”. Some people are sure I am going to run home and type up a report of their stuff, and some really hope I do. Not that I am even anything major, but I put it out there on the net for anyone with a computer to see. I am discreet to a point, I never blast anyone’s name. I am even careful about describing people, lest everyone who follows me be able to connect the dots. I kiss and tell, and I tell I tell. That being said, my blog is mine. If you want me to write nice things about you, then just behave better.

This morning I check my messages and I am hoping that call was not intentional and more like a butt-dial. It was just a bit ridiculous.

Now that I have that off my plate, let me tell you about something cool that happened last night. A chic we have seen there a few times, a Unicorn, answered a few questions for me. I am always curious about the motivations of a Unicorn. (BTW a Unicorn is a single female in the “lifestyle”, they are so rare they are almost a myth) We have had three types of unicorns and none of them were that great. One Unicorn was really only interested in me, another was only interested in Miguel, and the other wanted us to be exclusively with her. So I had to ask her what being a unicorn is like. This chic is living the life, I’m telling you. If Miguel ever dies, (cause ya, he will have to be dead to be rid of me) I am gonna become a Unicorn. She said whenever she is not in a relationship, she swings. Inside of a relationship, she is exclusive. I asked her about jealousy and she said that she doesn’t get exclusive with couples, she doesn’t want the baggage. She also said that she gets to know the couple for a while before she plays with them. Her playmates are her good friends. That is an excellent policy. She just cuts ties with people that want her all to themselves. I am very curious about a person that controls themselves like that. I bet she is enjoying the best of both by keeping them separate. But I wonder….if she had to choose either swinger or exclusivity, which would it be? Swinging for a Unicorn is different. I have even seen single males who have been playing for years, drop completely out of the lifestyle for the right woman. I don’t think, well, I actually don’t ever want to find out. Being part of a couple in the lifestyle is hard and requires work, but I think I would prefer it to any other set up.

A Birthday Party

Last weekend Miguel had to work all day Sunday. He told me he had to get up early and we didn’t plan on going to the club Saturday night. I also had to get up early and drive him to work. Three swinger friends were all celebrating a birthday this month so they had a big party at a friend’s house on Saturday night. We are pretty good friends with all three birthday people so attendance was kinda mandatory. We both wanted to go but it was going to be an early night. The party was held at another mutual friend’s house. We had never been there before, I guarantee if they have another party at their house, we will be going back.

These people had the kick-ass house on a large plot of land. Pulling into the large drive we noticed most of the cars belonged to people we knew. Near their detached garage we marveled at their extra large RV and 35 ft. boat. Their extravagant house was better than a model home and came complete with a pool and hot tub. They had a pool table in their formal living room. I am not usually so impressed with wealth but FUCK! Miguel and I dream of owning toys like these. The really nice thing is that you would never know the couple lived like this, they are just so damned down to earth and approachable.

There is a clique at the club that is about 6 consecutive couples. They attend each others kids birthday parties and shit like that. Anyways, pretty much the whole “clique” was there. Are we part of the clique? Not really. Most of the time these people invite us out, but we can’t hang. They always want to take the party somewhere else and they play really late. We are more like “side dish” friends. We  rarely go to their after parties. Not only are they really late, we live on the opposite side of town. They are all really great people though. There were about 30 or more people at the party and Miguel knew every one of them. I meet new people every time I hang out with these guys because I drink more than him, lol! We walked in a bit late but we were well received.

They had about 8 different liquors including a full dispenser full of chilled and mixed margarita spread out on a table on the patio. They also had beer on tap on their mini-bar. Inside they had a table full of food and cakes. More than half of the people there were pretty drunk. The crowd was loud and flirty and stumbling. I got very friendly hugs and groped by people not normally so friendly. This party started around noon for some of these people though. In fact the female host was going to pass out for the night when we arrived at 8:30. We didn’t see her the rest of the night. A few other people had to be put to bed while we were there. It was just too much fun for some folks. The pool looked so fucking inviting. About an hour into our stay another female and I got naked and into the pool. Then we moved into the hot tub. Every one else was fully clothed, but I had done a few shots and I knew most everyone else was plastered, or damned near anyways. It was pretty nice to be so comfortable naked. With these folks I feel no rejection or judgment. The girl and I got pretty busy with each other in the hot tub. Kissing and touching and fingering….it was a good time. We had a bit of an audience.

After I came, the girl got out of the hot tub. After a few minutes I realized no one else was going to get in with me, so I got out. At this point in my drunkenness I decided not to put on my pants. I wore jeans to this party? My legs were wet and my jeans were skinny, not a good combo. I ran around in my tee shirt and tried to convince everyone else that it was “no pants time”. It worked for some people and I felt better as I was not the only one without pants on. Then Miguel said it was time to go. We were there over 3 hours and no one was fucking yet. No really, that is not the reason we left. We both had to get up so fuckin early. One of the birthday boy’s noticed the lack of sex as well and pointed out that the RV was there specifically for that. I got dressed and we headed out to the RV, we invited him but he seemed to think we were kidding about it. We weren’t.

The RV was nothing short of awesome with it’s amenities, albeit a bit smaller than their house. We looked around for about a whole minute before I got down on my knees and helped Miguel out of his shorts. I sucked his cock to life and then he had me turn around and bend over so he could fuck me. I was kinda leaning over on the bed with my pants around my ankles. We didn’t get up onto the bed, but were able to finish fucking right there. Miguel fucked me fast and furious in that RV until he came with a grunt. We left right after that. It was a great fucking night with good friends.

Swinger Sites

If you are looking to meet local couple’s to play with, a swinger website is a good place to start. There are a few unspoken rules. I haven’t met a couple in the lifestyle yet that wasn’t outraged at a profile full of tricks. Miguel and I have a few horror stories trying to meet people online. I would think most of this is common sense. Let me list the major offenses.

  • Not posting recent picture. When I say recent, let me be specific: your current age and weigh showing. Don’t try to sell anyone online on what you and your partner looked like 4 years and 2 kids ago. That is just being dishonest.
  • Saying you are “athletic” when you are clearly not. Don’t be ashamed to say “a little extra padding” if that actually describes you. Athletic means height and weight proportionate, not a person whose BMI is over 30!
  • Having unreasonable expectations about privacy. Don’t expect people to approach you when all you have is the picture of an ass or tits for your profile. Exchanging pictures is part of the process, expect to have to show your face in them. Do be wary of picture collectors and people that don’t reciprocate right away. Most swingers we have met respect the need for discretion, but we will never go meet anyone without seeing their face.
  • Not updating your profile, ever. Please tell me about what you are looking for.
  • Not reading other people’s profiles before trying to make contact. If we say “up to age 50″ then respect our limits, no I don’t really care if one of you was in our age range. If a profile says “no single males” and that is what you are, move on. You are more likely to have a chance with someone that is already open to you.
  • Having unreasonable expectations about a hook-up. Have a fantasy, but don’t expect strangers to play it out exactly as you fantasize. No hook-up goes exactly as planned. Having unrealistic expectations means you are sure to be disappointed. Case and point: I talked to a girl on twitter not too long ago that went to another state to act out a fantasy gang-bang. The girl’s female friend got sick, some of the guys couldn’t perform and her man got jealous. Think she will want to re-create this night anytime soon? Probably not.
  • Bringing “drama” to a hook-up. Swinging will not save your relationship. Fighting is bad etiquette, please don’t do it. Please work out your limits with your partner before heading out. Being in the lifestyle a while I know couple’s that show up and fight at almost every event. I go out to have fun, not to choose sides.
  • Thinking a “wave” or a “smile” means we want to hook-up. It doesn’t. I am trying to be friendly, don’t read anything but the obvious here.
  • Not being honest about your partner. I don’t ever want to be in this situation again. We met a guy just recently that wanted us to pretend we just met him at the club, then talk his chic into swinging. This guy isn’t honest with his own girlfriend, do you think I would trust him. Nope, not as far as I could throw him. This is the kind of douche bag that would “say” he put a condom on, but not really do it. His trustworthiness was already displayed by how he treat his partner. We were tricked into even meeting this guy. Now we always talk to the female by phone before we head out.

There are some sites that are better than others. Some sites say they have lots of swingers, but they you find out they are all in another state.

We really like SwingLifeStyle because it shows us local events and gives lots of options for “free” members.

Kasidie is alot of fun, especially if you travel alot. They have lots of vacations for swingers. Plays Well With Others.

AdultFriendFinder is probably the most popular. Be specific on what you are looking for on this site though, since it is open to any kind of hook-up. We have met a few fun couples on this site.

Click here for more.

That is all I got for now. Happy Shopping!