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Excuse me

Mind Vomit

I know I have been only posting sporadically lately. I feel very far away from my site at the moment.

I started my new job. The great news is that it doesn’t suck. It isn’t overwhelming. I am putting my learned skills to use and that feels really good. I find myself not watching the clock at work. I can’t really express here with words how fucking good it is to have a job that doesn’t insult my intelligence or my integrity. I feel really lucky. I know I may not feel this way next year, or next month even. In this economy getting this job was such a blessing. To think that just a few months ago I considered leaving my career due to lack of opportunities. I know that spell of hard times has made me really appreciating how things are going now. Strange to feel this way.

I got my other big wish two weeks ago and my babysitter moved out. The details are complicated. It needed to happen. I felt suffocated in my own home. I have a big empty room now. I also have no adult to leave home with my kids. I didn’t really think that would be a big deal. The older kids are legally old enough, but it makes me uncomfortable. Fucking hindsight is always 20/20! So we will be going out less. Really trying to make each night out count.

We did get out last Saturday night. We chatted with a couple we see there often. The man seemed a bit mad. I prodded, cuz that is what I do, and he shared that he was frustrated with going out and not hooking up. He expressed frustration about the distance, the cover charge, the cost of drinks. All of that, and not even a glimmer of hope that there would be a hook-up.

I bit my tongue.

The truth is that I have heard these same complaints from Miguel before. I agree that there is always a bit of pressure to make a hook-up happen when you go out. It just seems like a pointless expense without it, but… sometimes I just want to go out. I sometimes don’t want a hook-up. I am still milling this over. I could totally understand his frustration. I see both sides of this argument. But I have to admit that we didn’t hook-up with anyone at this party.

We met a lot of nice people. We even met a poly/TPE/swinger couple. So rare at a swinger club. We talked about how fetish and swinger don’t mix so well. They could if they had an understanding of the ground rules, but people are stupid. Each side has views on the other and generally, they just don’t mix well. It is ridiculous that swingers or fetish folk might be judgmental of anyone, but I have witnessed it. Once I really opened myself up to being sex positive, there is no going back. I am committed to keeping an open mind and hopefully we will be checking out some of the recommended venues coming up in the coming year. I don’t care what people think, this is my life and I don’t want to miss a thing.

So that is my mind vomit of the moment. The other thing really on my mind is the tragedy that happened last Friday. I don’t really want to talk about it, but I can’t stop thinking about it. I know a lot of people, like me, are still in shock. That something like that could even happen. I am heartbroken. I keep thinking about it. I guess it really hit home that this is the world we live in. I don’t really know what else to say about it that hasn’t been said already. I am trying to not waste today.


A Great Fuck

Eyz Wide Shut

I got a new job! I am so elated to have found a job I like and pays well. It will be nice to have some of our money stress removed. We went out last night. First we went to a place so lame I won’t even bother to mention the name here. We had one drink at this club. It wasn’t really a club, though, more of a bar that is suppose to be swinger friendly. There were some swingers there but it was a rinky-dink bar and the people were not typical friendly swingers….plus the drinks were too expensive. We each had one $4 beer, opting not to have the $6 rum runner “special”. What the fuck is so special about a $6 drink? We had one drink each and high-tailed it outta there! We went to Eyz Wide Shut since we were kind of in the neighborhood.

We had a great night at Eyz even though it was a little bit slow. We are a bit spoiled by Eyz, we have high standards for a club I guess. Fridays are not as busy as Saturday night there, but we met some sexy new people. Things are a little weird right now, for me, we didn’t hook-up with anyone. I don’t know what to say about it, really. I think maybe stress and not really spending quality time together lately. It seems like we do but, eh…I always feel so scattered. Who cares about all that shit? I just need to get my mind back in the game and focus.

We go out to clubs to meet new people, and that is exactly what we did last night. It was fun! Then we went to the lodging side and put on a show in Lovers Lane. God! Miguel is such a good lover, I am wet just thinking about last night. All this week really since Sunday night the sex has been incredible. We used toys all week, but last night, we didn’t need any toys. First I had Miguel lay down on one of the beds, I pulled up a cushion for my knees and sucked his cock. There were about 5 other couples in the room. I know most of them were enjoying the show. I love to suck his cock, it takes everything in me to stop when he asks me to, so he doesn’t cum in my mouth. I licked his shaft and sucked his balls before engulfing the head in my mouth. I like to suck just the head and use my hands on the shaft. I stopped when he asked me to this time and he had me lay back so he could lick me.

I was so wet from sucking him, I am sure he got a mouth full of my juice. Miguel sucks and moans on my clit, the vibrations are amazing. Then he starts to finger fuck me while he sucks my clit at the same time. Miguel knows right where to thrust to hit my g-spot. The combinations of sensations had me writhing and grinding my snatch into his face. He had at least three fingers going furiously fast, fucking my g-spot while he flicked my clit with his tongue. I lost all sense of where we were and I closed my eyes. When I opened them I saw people watching and walking back and forth to get a better view. Then Miguel stopped and crawled up to put his cock in my mouth, his hand still working my pussy. A few seconds later and he re-positioned himself to fuck me missionary style.

His cock slid right in and he held me real close using my body for leverage. I tried to match his tempo fucking back as best I could. Every stroke made a wet sound, sounding sex as hell. Miguel wanted to fuck me doggy style, so he had me turn around for him. The height of the bed was just right for him. Our bed at home is too soft, but this bed was nice and firm and perfect for me on my hands and knees. I am sure he was thinking he would be able to watch us fuck in a mirror, there are usually mirrors everywhere, but there wasn’t one where we needed it. He fucked me doggy style and alternated between fast strokes and slow. On the slow strokes he pulled out almost all the way and commented on how fucking hot it looked to see his cock enveloped in my pussy. On the slow strokes he almost stopped a few times, but I pushed back and made him continue. He smacked my ass a few times, only making me hotter for the fuck he was giving me. I sat up and turned to him and he kissed me alot while he fucked me. He would then push me forward and grab my hair, it was an incredible fuck. I sure wish I could have watched it. He flipped me over again and fucked me missionary. A few times he sat straight up and worked my clit with his hands while he hammered his cock in me. I came over and over again as he did this. Miguel stopped just short of cumming and I was shaking as I tried to get dressed.

We went back to the club and ate. I had to have a smoke after a fuck like that. Miguel wanted to chat a bit more before finishing our fuck, so we sat outside and made small talk with some people we know. We ended up back at the lodging side about 30 mins later. We got a private room this time. Miguel had me lay down so he could suck my clit and finger fuck me again. I had my eyes closed at first but when I opened them I had the perfect view of him eating me out in the ceiling mirror. I came a few more times in his mouth and then Miguel put his cock into me. I came a few more times as Miguel fucked me missionary style. The second time didn’t last quite as long, but it was still incredible.

I don’t understand how sex keeps getting better between us, but here we are having even better sex almost every time. I am so in love and lust with Miguel it is no wonder jealousy rears it’s ugly head once in a while. I would be crazy to not have any fear of losing him.

A Cautionary Tale

While we were at Eyz Wide Shut this weekend. We heard from a friend that a local swinger club got raided and the owners were arrested. There is such a thing as licensing for swinger clubs, and these people just didn’t have any. This is the kind of story that drives swingers underground. No one, not even very open-minded folks, wants to end up on the news leaving a swinger club. The reporters were not there for the raid, thankfully, and eyewitnesses said the cops just told the patrons that they had to leave.

You can read the full report here.

This is actually very bad news. I have been to this club numerous times and had no idea they didn’t have licensing. When we first started going to Eyz, there was a similar rumor about the club. Upon further investigation I learned that the rumor was a flat out lie spread by a local competing swinger spot. It was very viscous, the kind of thing that keeps people far away from swinger clubs. I assure you that Eyz Wide Shut has all their licensing and will not be raided for anything.

How can you know that the club you go to has proper licensing? One way is to ask the owners. Is there any licensing visible? A legit run club will have something visible saying they are authorized for business. Talk to the people who have been there. It is really a business or is it run out of someone’s home? We have been to a few “clubs” out of people’s homes and I realize now that we just got lucky. Any home could be a swinger club with advertising if these were actually legal. All I am saying is do your homework…

I hate all the seedy underground things that are associated with the swinger community. The thing that really stinks is that swinging is legal. What consenting adults do is their own business. I agree that this lifestyle is not for everyone, but those that choose the lifestyle should be able to go to a place and not worry about ending up on the news. The stigma that swinging carries would cause some people to loose their jobs, just for being sex positive and open. It is unfair, really. That is the world we live in.

Another thing that gives swingers a bad name is the way in which some people go about it. Take for example the couple we met a few weeks ago. Read the full story here. Basically, this guy thinks he can trick his girl into swinging. He didn’t bother to tell her he met us on a swinger site. He didn’t tell us she was in the dark, until we were already there to meet them. How sleazy is that? This couple was there on Friday night at Eyz. I greeted her because I think she is really sweet. Too bad her man is a douche-bag! He actually came up to us Friday night to tell us that they were going next door to the lodging…. (What was he thinking?)! We were like, “Okay, so what?” Miguel explained to him that because he did not give her full disclosure we didn’t like him. It is never going to happen. He is just a flaming idiot. Not only did he not read my blog about what I really thought about his seedy ways, he didn’t listen to a damn thing Miguel told him on the phone before heading out on Friday to the club. He had to tell us he was taking her out, and then thought….what? that we were going to just make their first experience. I am sure he though we would be a sure thing.

Please, don’t be that person….thinking swingers will accept you like that. This is a consensual lifestyle. It requires open communication and a lot of trust. This guy has already demonstrated that he cannot be trusted. I wouldn’t be naked in a room with him ever. This is the kind of guy that would pretend to put a condom on or try to go anal even after negotiating anal was off limits. If he would lie to her, the woman he “loves”, why would he be honest in any situation. Why would a guy trust this guy with his woman? That’s all I’m saying.

Monday Night Date

So much got fucked up this weekend I don’t really even want to think about it. Basically what happened was….well, I am a woman and sometimes I go a little psycho. Usually I find good outlets for my rage and craziness but Miguel took the brunt of it this weekend. So Saturday night, although we did have some fun, ended on a really bad note. Then Sunday was awkward. Just because I recognize that things are my fault doesn’t mean I can admit that right away. I am so glad I have Miguel. He hugged me at some point on Sunday after a vicious silent storm. He just gets me. I was able to forgive myself for crazy and then ask him to do the same.

By Monday morning we were completely back to normal, as far as I can tell. Yesterday Miguel text me and said I needed to figure out what to wear since we were going out. He assured me that this was a date with a newbie couple, with no plans for more than vanilla fun. We had a totally relaxed evening then we went out to The Castle in downtown Ybor City. We checked the website and they were opening up at 9pm on a Monday night. Who the hell goes out on a Monday? I guess we do now. Anyways, we got there after 9 and the club was still not open. The people there said they don’t open until 10:30. Who the hell is out that late on a Monday? We almost left right then, but I was kinda hungry so we walked around in search of a place to eat. While walking around we ran into the couple we were suppose to be meeting. So, we had a beer and chatted a bit. They were very nice and super sexy.. we then decided to stay out a little bit longer.

I would love to go on and on about this couple, but I won’t. They are new newbies and I feel disclosing thoughts or bits of our conversation will betray their trust. I really like this couple. I will tell you that Miguel and I enjoyed their company. They are fun and spontaneous. We are suppose to be meeting them again this week. I am looking forward to it. Since they are so new, it is like having vanilla friends again. I can focus on Miguel and just have fun. I know swinging is suppose to be like that. Sometimes it is not, though. More often than not, we meet a couple and there is bit of pressure to make the hook-up. I know sometimes it can drag out and the focus really should be on sex for a hook-up. I guess I have been missing vanilla dates. That is not to say that I would not consider this couple…I have considered it. I just think it was great that it didn’t have to happen last night.

Oh God, there is no one here to stop me when I go on and on like that sorry.

It was 80′s night at The Castle. I am definitely more of a 90′s girl but they kept the music really fun. There were alot of people there for a Monday night. We danced to The Cure and Devo and Culture Club and all kinds of other 80′s music…how embarrassing! The crowd was a mix of young and old freaks dancing to one-hit wonders and cult classics. It was fun, as hard to admit as that is. At least now I know there are places to go for fun on a Monday night.

We left around 12:30, I was still really hungry so I tore up some taco bell when we got home, (I <3 nacho bell grande when I have had a bit to drink!). Then we had some awesome sex. I have been needing to review a new cock ring so I poured some lube on my hand and manipulated Miguel’s cock till it was nice and hard. I stretched the cock ring out a bit and slid it onto him. It was too late at this point to maneuver it around his balls so he wore it just like that. I turned both the vibes on and he rolled me over so he could fuck me. Let me just say that the cock ring rocked, Miguel fucked me good with it buzzing away. I can’t wait to use it again. I did a full review on it today with the song Fascination Street by The Cure playing over and over in my memory. The four hours of sleep was a small price to pay for such a great night.

Until next time Lovelies, keep it sexy!