Meeting potential couples is a bit of a dance. Show interest with a wink, write and e-mail, make a phone call, voice verify, answer questions and go over the rules, set up the meeting. It is not always the same. Obviously meeting people at a club wouldn’t follow this pattern. Meeting people over the internet usually does. Sometimes the e-mails go on for weeks, or even months until the schedule coincide and a date is made. Some people will not be rushed into meeting and that is fine. Some people are really worth the wait. Sometimes we get right to it and then we meet.
We all have lives outside of swinging. We have careers, some of us have kids and other responsibilities. We can’t all run out at the drop of a hat and meet new people for a potential hook-up, (although I wish we had that kind of freedom). Some of us can’t chat about swinging on the phone. Little ears and work may restrict the conversation during certain hours.
An unspoken rule for me is to follow instructions. This goes for us and them. If they ask me to call, I call. If they want to see a picture I send it. If I ask them to call me at a certain time, I make myself available to chat. I am picky. I will write someone off before I even meet them if they fail to follow instructions. In the swinger world instructions are important. Even more so because of what we intend to do together. What does it say about someone when they can’t follow simple instructions? I am not talking about step-by-step instructions, although we have received and followed them for certain situations. I am talking about a little thing like a good time to call me to chat. If you call me three hours later don’t be surprised if I can’t chat. I have kids and a night time job. My kids are old enough to know that when I talk low it’s because I don’t want them to hear, (and then miraculously they can hear everything).
Another unspoken rule I have is that if you invite another couple on our date, you should tell us about it. I don’t mind a few extra players, but I like to be informed. As a courtesy maybe you should send us a picture of them. Don’t they want to know what we look like? That is fine if you send one of us to them. We are not ken and barbie but we do have standards. We had a date at the Hard Rock hotel a while back with a couple that had invited two other couples to the same party on the same night. The thing is that there was no mention of other couple(s). One of the couples ended up being really high maintenance and ruining the night. We probably wouldn’t have been able to predict it even if we knew there would be extra players. I find it kind of ironic that we knew the other couple (not the high maintenance one, the other one). What are the odds? Pretty good actually because swingers are a small community. Even if you don’t know me, you probably know someone I know in this area. This is just common courtesy really. 1
So there! I feel better now that I got that off my chest and you all know that I am a bit of a control freak. I want to be in the know so bad. I want people who have a bit of common sense and courtesy. Am I asking too much?
Listen, I always try to extend people a bit of common courtesy. I even take it the extra step and try to read body language so that I don’t overstep boundaries and make potential hook-ups uncomfortable. Oh shit! What if I am the high maintenance person here? No fuck that! I have a right to be picky. I don’t have to lower my standards to swing. There are plenty of sexy courteous people in the lifestyle. If you can’t follow simple instructions I guess I don’t want to fuck you.
- For the record that night ended up being a waste of time since we didn’t hook-up with anyone and didn’t even have a good time there. Ugh! ↩