I have to vent about something. We met a couple that was all about the double standard in swinging. I mentioned how I noticed for a woman to be bisexual and that is okay, normal even, in the swinger lifestyle. On the flip side, it is not okay for a man to be bisexual. They agreed that this is how it is for good reason….
I asked if they would consider playing with a couple where the guy was bisexual even if they didn’t have to play that way and they said “Hell no!”
“A male that has any kind of relation with another male is less likely to use a condom, and therefore more likely to have an STD.”
I swear they actually said that, and they really believed it. I was completely floored. I still am. I thought only cavemen thought like that. I continued to prod them with questions:
“What about anal? Would you have you ever?” Oh that yes of course, there is nothing gay about a man fucking a woman in the ass.
“What about the male prostate, have you ever stimulated it or had it stimulated?” Umm…Well…. change the subject.
We live in an age of unlimited information. I find it so hard to believe that a man who gets hard thinking about another man would be less likely to wear a condom. Since we are all so fucking smart about STDs these days we are even more careful. Most swingers don’t necessarily want full on male/male sex and I get that. But what would be less safe about a wife performing a blowjob over the husband doing it? There is no difference.
I really believe this. Am I the one that is crazy?
It is absurd to think that homosexuals are less likely to use a condom. Even worse that a swinging bi-sexual male would be less likely to use a condom. Do they think that a man would have to be a little stupid to do that, or intoxicated even? What about bisexual women are they less likely to practice safe sex? No they didn’t see that at all. What is this fear of male bisexuals? I don’t get it!
So actually if it is in your profile that you are a bi-sexual male, you will encounter prejudice. You may not feel it, but some couples will pass you up thinking that you are less willing to practice safe sex. Wtf? We have played with couples that are both bisexual, letting them know that Miguel is straight and not only was this not an issue…they used condoms too!
Most swinger woman are bi-sexual and this is not at all frowned upon in the lifestyle. Most couples start out wanting that female/female play and then take it from there. Should men that are open to playing with men be excluded from the scene?
I hope not.
I still think it is hot to see a man with a man. I love gay porn and pegging is still one of my favorite things. Of course when it comes down to it I want a hetero male to spend my life with. I just think that by excluding men from potential play partners you loose 1/2 of the population. It is hard enough to find people to play with that are open, sexy, and fun without being ignorant about a whole populous. I know I am a bit open minded. I agree that bi-sexual men are not going to be everyone’s kink, I get it. For some people, it is a big turn off. Why not just say you are not into it?
I hoped being this in this lifestyle I would not even encounter people like this. I took an impromptu poll at a swinger club and was happy to find that most swingers do not agree with this thinking. Most couples I talked to were not bothered by a bisexual man in a potential couple even if they didn’t practice it themselves. Most swingers are open to sexual fun, all types, and still keep it safe.
I don’t think m/m play is everyone’s kink, just like f/f play isn’t. There is an unfair double standard.