I am almost sad it is Sunday already, but I am really looking forward to get to sleep at a decent hour tonight. We had a fun filled weekend but I am so exhausted now. I need a few days of to recover. Friday I started a new job. I am pretty exited about it. Friday night Miguel and I went out with the Hey Jealousy couple again. We started out bowling, then we played some pool at the bowling bar….then we went to their house.
I was so turned on, feeling really good from all the alcohol, and I sucked Miguel off in the car as we drove to their house. When we got inside the girl went right to the kitchen to make some drinks. I took my coat off and met her in the middle of her kitchen. I kissed her all over and slowly helped her out of clothes. I wanted to taste her. I got on my knees and licked and sucked her clit while the guys watched. Her breasts were so fucking perfect I wanted to devour them. This girl is no stick figure, she is perfectly proportioned. All curves and soft, I loved her body. She has a nice all over tan and long blond hair. If I had a type she would be it. It is really no wonder her fucking Miguel evokes feelings of jealousy for me. I want to be Miguel fucking this girl.
We moved over to bedroom and the guys got into the action. This time I didn’t bring any toys, I wanted so bad to make her get off. I had her lay on the bed on her back and I licked her slit. I finger fucked her and rubbed her clit. Then I moved over so Miguel could take over. Her man licked me and finger fucked me to orgasm. I was so done with foreplay at this point and I told the guy to put the condom on so her could fuck me. I was ready for cock. He put the condom on and I told him to fuck me good. I was on my back when he got it in. His style is different from Miguel, he took his time with slow strokes in and out then speeding up for a minute and back to slow strokes. I know he was trying to redeem himself from last time, but I just wanted a good hard fuck. When he tired out he asked me to get on top. I got right up and sat on his face. I was so fucking hot I fucked his face with Miguel and the girl fucking right next to me. I rubbed my wet pussy all over his face until I was almost there. Then I straddled his cock and fucked him with no mercy. I got his cock and I milked it with my pussy. I came so good, then he came too. Miguel and the girl fucked for a few more minutes and then it seemed that we were alll done. I grabbed my clothes and went to the bathroom to get dressed.
The guy got dressed as well and we went outside so I could have a smoke. I assumed that Miguel and the girl were dressed and making small talk. I felt an urgency to hurry up with the cigarette so we could get back inside. When the guy and I walked in, we found Miguel laying back on the couch and her sucking him off. I walked over and grabbed my coat. I was fully dressed and for me the play part was over. I am still fuming over this. Later Miguel explained that she didn’t want to have him leave without him cumming…again. So like me, she feels that if the guy doesn’t cum it feels like something is wrong. Same room is something we have always agreed upon. I could barely watch when he came in her mouth. Another 2 minutes and we probably would have missed the whole fucking show. It really made me sad and mad. He broke the rule. Miguel, who made up the rule. I wonder how he would have felt if it had been the other way around.
I have pondered if I had ever done this to him. Miguel freaked out once when I kissed a guy and I was 10 feet away. He wasn’t so subtle about how he felt. The fact that there was a curtain between us infuriated him. As if I fucked someone and he was not invited. I have been careful not to forget that. I didn’t think we would recover. I was scolded the whole way home. That was two years ago. Fast forward and this is now twice that I thought we were done with the same couple and they kept going after I left the room, almost as if on purpose. I feel sick just thinking about it.
I am a jealous person. I am just built that way. The fact that someone like me could entertain a swingers lifestyle is something of a small miracle. Miguel re-assures me all the time, and still my insecurities creep in every once in a while. This is something of a game changer for me. I have to reflect and wonder…is it just me? Did Miguel have a moment of weakness and forget? No, I don’t think so. He never drinks as much as me, he is the driver. He is always more sober and more in control of himself. If it had been me on the couch, we would never see that couple again. I just keep seeing it in my head. Maybe I should have said something right then. I looked at the guy and he just shrugged, as if to say “Oh well!” I wanted to cry. I put my coat on instead.
We went to Eyz Wide Shut last night and the other couple was there. I don’t know what everyone else is thinking, but I have no intention of hooking up with them again. Miguel and the girl are still going on as if nothing bad happened. Miguel just popped his head out and told me about something about what they experienced last night. I guess they are still texting each other. I have tried to express to him how this made me feel, if I really said what I am thinking it might end up in a fight. I don’t want to fight. I don’t think he realizes the blow my ego has taken. He has done this twice now. The first time it was probably me, now I see that I need to address this. I know some would say I should shrug it off. This is just sex, and we are swingers after all. I can’t just shrug it off. I need to pause and address this before I continue. I feel like my trust has been violated no matter if it was by accident or omission.
I am just ranting now, sorry. We are suppose to be this really secure couple and we don’t fight. Those that really know us, they know that’s not true. I pout and cast silent storms when I am upset. After years of blowing up and screaming I just get quiet now. It is better that I don’t scream and say things I will probably regret later. My tongue can be razor sharp. I think we are going to be a soft swap couple for a while. Probably, this is no big deal and we will recover to play another day. Hopefully, it will truly be same room only next time. About the worst thing a swinger couple could do to each other is break their own rules. I talk about it here because I don’t have very many outlets to talk about these kinds of problems. I just need to vent and tell the whole story. I need to really put this into perspective so I can start to get over it.
Hey Karen, you are no different than any other woman. I believe all the wives want to always feel that their men want and desire them the most. We had a similar experience this past Saturday night. I never once told my wife I wanted this new girl more than her or even that I wanted to be alone with her. Yet thats how she felt. I think its tough for a wife to be comfortable when another woman is really turned on and wants more than just a regular orgasm. For us guys its the thrill of new adventures, really not much more than that. You are a hot woman and great kisser. I cant imagine Miguel not wanting you every day and I would bet that he does.
Thanks for saying all of that. Sometimes it helps just to talk about it. Writing about my true feelings helps me to sort them out….
Wait a minute! How do you know I am a great kisser???
I know you remember those hot steamy kisses we shared on the dance floor
Yes I used to write out my feelings all the time and was therapeutic at first but when I realized it focused my mind on a topic too much I decided it was time to quit typing. For me to remain in one with a beautiful universe I had to just let go and accept everything as beautiful…everything and everyone. Raises glass, heres to hoping we share more kisses in the future! xo
Michael would like you read..Walter Russell
How could I forget that? Nice that you found my site. Thanks for commenting!
It was brave of you to share this. So many people think that anyone who swings or is poly is void of jealousy. soooo wrong. Even when “rules” are followed, jealousy can still rear its head. i think boundaries are fluid and need to be addressed on a regular basis. though it’s not about jealousy, it’s the emotions underneath the jealousy. which are much harder to talk about. The thing you said about your ego…there is something there, why did it hurt your ego? hurt yes, but your ego? i hope you guys have talked about this. (and until things went wrong..the story was HOT)
storm elliott would like you read..Neat Stuff for Bloggers
I say me ego because my sexually and ego are so closely tied together. If I am not the center of his world then I have nothing to talk about here. Maybe the fact that he didn’t need (or want) me in the room at the time is what is killing me. I feel like every one of our encounters has been, for me at least, about what WE get out of it. If I don’t have to be there then well wtf?
“sexuality and ego so closely tied together” I can relate. it’s actually something I have been working on. remind yourself of all the wonderful things about yourself and what you have to give in addition to your sexuality. none of that changes the specifics of the issue to deal with, but it is an opportunity for self-reflection and opening up.
and i’m sure you ARE the center of his world.
storm elliott would like you read..hoping the top makes me feel sexy
Thank you SO much posting this awesome honesty! So glad to know that it’s not just us that worry about breaking our own rules and how to recover.
hang in there and thank you!
Thanks for the encouragement! I hope this doesn’t start a fight, but it needed to be said.