Question About Sex Club Etiquette

Swinger Q & A

Hi Karen,

I came across your blog while researching Eyz Wide Shut. Since you are experienced in the lifestyle and frequent that club, I thought I’d ask your advice.

My wife and I are newbies to sex clubs and the swinging lifestyle, and are not particularly interested in having sex with others. But we are very much interested in watching other couples have sex, and very much interested in playing with each other while we watch those other couples.

I read in one of your posts that couples who do swing get particularly irritated when they invest time and energy in getting to know another couple only to find out in the end that other couple doesn’t want to swing. We certainly don’t want make that mistake and upset anyone.

I was wondering if you could advise us as to what the proper etiquette is when going into certain areas of Eyz Wide Shut? Are there rooms, for example, that if we enter we are expected to strip completely down and join in? Conversely, is there anywhere in the club we could go to play with each other without fully stripping and just watch others around us?

Thanks in advance for your advice.

Karen Says:

Do not feel intimated to go and check out the club. If you two just want to watch, there is no problem with that. There are no mandatory naked rooms at Eyz Wide Shut. This club is all about consensual sex, not forced. There are at least two rooms where you and your wife can go and watch, if there are others in the room, and there is never forced participation. If you two want to be watched you can play in the big rooms or they have private rooms that have curtains. You can close the door and leave the curtain open so others can watch, or close it for privacy.

I am sorry if I made it sound as if investing time getting to know a couple without a full swing would be a bad thing. It should all be about fun and what you are comfortable with. There are couples in the lifestyle that never fully swap, and that is fine. They are a “soft swap” couple, they like to watch, and be watched but not exchange partners. I have met some very happy couples and “parallel played” with them. When it comes down to it, it is all about what makes you two comfortable.

If you mention me (Karen Blue) at the door I would very much appreciate it. It won’t get you a discount or anything (or me for that matter), but it will show that my writing about the club helps, and that is always a good thing. Alot of people have views about how a sex club will be. I am happy to dispel any false rumors or expectations. It is a just a regular club, where some swingers like to go. The lodging there is as open or closed as you want. All the doors lock and only the people that work there can open them. If you get in a room and decide to play with someone, you have to let them in. No one can come in uninvited. Single men are not allowed in the big rooms with multiple couples unless they are escorted by a couple. Alternately, you can go and watch couples if they have their curtains open, without ever having to even be in the same room. It is like live porn.¬† I hope you decide to check out the club for yourself, and if you have anyone making you feel uncomfortable, please tell management. Pushy people are not very welcome there. I have never had problems there, and I obviously love the place.

Miguel Says:

Eyz Wide Shut has several rooms that are perfect for voyeurs. The biggest one is called “Lover’s Lane.” There is a video tour of this room as well as the rest of the club on the Eyz Wide Shut website. You can also get a tour from the staff if you get there before 11 pm. Some couples loved to be watched but make sure they don’t get any interruptions by just getting a private room and leaving the room’s curtain open. Some close the curtains and turn the lights brighter so you can see them through the curtain material.

If you see a couple you would like to watch in action just approach them and strike up a conversation. Just remember you are there to have fun…it’s a miss or hit situation. Even if you don’t get to see what you want, you are still going to get the best sex ever…the sex between your lover and you!


  1. I think there are tons of couples and singles who just want to watch and/or be watched.

  2. Seriously awesome post. I can’t say that swinging appeals to me but your post the other day about the soft swap well that sure sounded like a blast so thanks for all the info about what it’s like. I am curious though myself which is why I hope my idiot friend will take me to a swingers club like he said so I can see. Don’t think I’d ever participate I have a hard enough time finding one guy I’d be willing to sleep with not to mention more but yes I am very curious so it’s great to know I can pick your brain :)
    Jessica ( frellathon ) would like you read..How To Sell Your BabyMy Profile

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