Confidence Bites

Okay so I read an article, which I also shared on facebook, about ‘Negging’. The basic premise is that most women like men who don’t trip over themselves to get attention. The strategy is to use a compliment and wrap in inside of a negative comment to get the girls attention. For example: “Did you highlight your hair? Why do women ruin their hair with highlights?” or “I really like your outfit. My (aunt/mother/grandmother) has the same one.” or “Did you know you have crinkles around your eyes when you laugh?”

The idea of making your comment stand out to a beautiful woman, I can sort of understand. When I hear something like this, I am intrigued. Did he just say that? This guy isn’t trying to get me to like him, he is almost doing the opposite, maybe I should try harder. Wow! He must have really high standards.

Women become immune to compliments, and they will shoot you down before you can make an impression. I can also understand bringing her ego down a peg or two. Women tend to like assholes, I know I do. A confident man will get my attention every time. Does every woman really respond to this? Is this a real strategy? Does this really work? What I mean is, do some guys set out to really do this purposefully? I always thought it was just natural for some people to never be able to give a real compliment without off shooting it with some thing negative.

Yes folks I googled it, and it is a whole strategy used to get girls! I am appalled! Really I never thought you guys were smart enough to know this about women. I cant really say anything, because it has worked on me before. Just wow! That some guy figured this out…amazing! Miguel actually said something during out first date. He made a comment about my hair being up, and how I should have it down. Guess how much I wear my hair up even to this day? Hardly ever…. so I fell for this. He swears it wasn’t on purpose, but the point is that it stuck out in my mind. Even to this day, and we have been together for years, I still think about it.

Speaking of confidence, and I am speaking to the guys here, this is a major factor. If you are going to try a neg hit, deliver it with confidence. If your confidence wavers this “neg” will not work. You will look like a big idiot. Don’t point out your flaws. If you are looking for a girlfriend, don’t worry about your flaws. Our girlfriends will point them out to us eventually. Tell me about what you are good at. Please take the lead in the bedroom. I have walked away from plenty of potential hook-ups because the guy couldn’t close the deal. Just some little tid bits…

On a whole different spectrum…females. Seems like there is always some over-confident woman at every party. You know her, you have seen her out. She is loud and makes people uncomfortable with her outrageous behavior. Ugh! I don’t like this girl. When I was younger…like 20 maybe, I was this girl. But no more. The thing that kills me about this girl is that she is never the prettiest girl. Don’t give me that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” crap. She is not that sexy and she has to know it, or else she has never seen herself. She almost always comes with some hideous factor that makes her un-fuckable, at least for me. If I could just get past her personality, then her (fat, big nose, bad hair, bad sense of style, something) would still be there. I am very critical of what I look like when I leave the house. She is there to ruin potential hook-ups by scaring people away. Don’t express your interest in anyone in front of her, she will try to molest them. She might even succeed right in front of you. Oh well, we are at a swinger’s club, she’ll just laugh it off. The point is that I didn’t want you in the mix, damn it! This girl will find the most sexy people at the party and latch on to them, she is trying to prove something. Her putting the moves on that couple is a neg hit, and she knows it. She had the balls to do what you wouldn’t. Oh and heaven help you if you get two of these types together…it will get loud and chase all the sensible people away.

Yes, I am a frickin snob. I have standards. I do not sport fuck. Over confident women are a big turn off for me. Have confidence, by all means. But do it in a sensual way. Obnoxious is not sexy! Maybe she is trying to make up for her physical flaws by taking your attention away from it. I am too picky to let this go unnoticed. This girl might use a verbal neg hit too. Trying to bring you down to her level. A neg hit from a woman is not the same, since we know how we think. If a woman uses a neg hit, I am really going to go off the deep end. It will not make you attractive to me, I will use my flaw radar and mentally list all the crap I could say to you. I won’t though, because I have class. I will smile and walk away. I will avoid you like a plague. I will think the person you tried to “steal” from me obviously has no fucking standards. End of story.

Women use neg hits on other women to hurt. A neg hit shouldn’t hurt, it should be thought provoking and fixable. It should accentuate something cute about me that could be perceived as a flaw, but it is not. A neg hit says “I saw the real you, I liked it”. Without being brazen and insulting. Be sincere, not insulting if you use neg hits. Don’t use it as a “burn” in front of others. This is something you noticed about me, don’t say it to every girl. We do compare notes sometimes. Use humor if you can, it will take the sting away.

In my opinion, when men use neg hits they can work. Women, not so much. Compliments from women work on women. A well placed neg hit could actually work from a guy. Glad I don’t have to come up with a stupid strategy to get men. I am not that smooth. I am so glad not to have to be out there trying to find someone to love me for me. Some witty guy already sealed the deal with a (non-intentional) neg hit a few years ago.


  1. padmeamidala says:

    Great blog post! Your posts always make me think. Thank you. :)

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