Dear Friend ~Beyond the Books

Reading time 3 mins

This is a really hard post for me to write. I had to really dig deep to find someone I have an issue with. I mean of course, I hate those people that cut in line in traffic, and people who work customer service who obviously don’t like people. I have a big beef with people I work with that can’t smile. I mean, how hard is it to smile once in a while when you say hello? For the most part, I just don’t have any people in my life that I don’t enjoy seeing. Cutting it down to just Miguel and my kids made this fairly easy for me, actually. But then this got me thinking, why I am not so eager to go out and make friends? It reminded me of the last real friend I had.

I am almost afraid to share this post. Honestly, what will you think of me? What if I admit the last real friend I had just stopped talking to me. Then I read this post on Chasing Faerytales about the insecurities of bloggers, and it encouraged me to be brave.

 

Dear Friend,

I don’t know what happened to us. I don’t have many friends, I know part of it is me, but most of it is this stage of my life that doesn’t allow time to spend with friends, and gives me almost no time to make new friends. I cherished our friendship. I shared things with you that I didn’t tell people. I was there to help you when you needed it. I helped you when you I could, and even when it wasn’t most convenient, I tried to be there for you. I thought I supported you in everything. You went back to school and disappeared on me. I know life got hectic for you, so I waited patiently for you to make time for me in your life. I waited more than two years. I texted you a lot, just to let you know I missed you. I texted that I knew you were busy, but I hoped to see you soon. The last time I saw you was your graduation.

I don’t remember a falling out. I just know that all of a sudden you had a new “bestie” in all your pictures on Facebook. It made me think it was probably more me, than anything else in your life. Seeing that just broke my heart and I stopped trying to reach out. I guess it didn’t matter anyways, you never tried to contact me again, either.

I know I am not perfect. We have known each other for years, long enough that you could have said that something I did bothered you. I would have taken it constructively. I don’t know what happened to our friendship. I only know you moved on, and I didn’t.

I miss you, and the friendship we had.

~Karen

 

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By | 2017-12-16T10:24:18+00:00 Thursday, February 18, 2016|Beyond the Books|17 Comments

About the Author:

Mother, Lover, Writer, Reviewer, Social Media Princess. Karen has been a blogger since 2010. She is a US Army veteran, a medical professional, and the mother of four. Karen is the owner of That Book Store llc. She reviews books and shares mind vomit for this blog in her 'spare' time. Karen lives in New England.

17 Comments

  1. La La in the Library February 18, 2016 at 10:00 am - Reply

    (((HUGS))) That’sawful. She at least owes you an explanation so there can be either a meeting of the minds, or closure of some kind. My son’s Godmother was so used to me being able to “be there” for her, that when I went through my divorce from my son’s father, not only wasn’t she prepared to be there for me, she was miffed because told her I didn’t need to hear moan about all of her trivial problems until I was back on my feet. At least I was honest and she knew up front what was wrong, so she could choose to fix it or walk. She chose to walk. Sometimes people are just in a friendship for what they can get out if it, and when that is not what the friendship means to us, we don’t see it until the environment around the relationship changes. That really sucks that she did that to you. I feel extremely lucky that I have my little sister as a friend.
    Check Out La La in the Library’s most recent post- BEYOND THE BOOKS #5My Profile

    • Karen Blue
      Twitter:
      February 18, 2016 at 12:41 pm - Reply

      My little sister is my bestie too. Even though we are 1300 miles away from each other we talk every single day.

  2. Steph
    Twitter:
    February 18, 2016 at 3:57 pm - Reply

    🙁 You were strong to write this, sometimes it is good to get all the feelings out. I could write a very similar note as well – all the feels for you as I completely understand :/
    Check Out Steph’s most recent post- Early Reader Reivew: Univcorn vs. Goblins by Dana SimpsonMy Profile

  3. Heather @ Random Redheaded Ramblings
    Twitter:
    February 18, 2016 at 4:22 pm - Reply

    Ok Karen, what can I say – I will send hugs via the internet but I suppose I can say that it is good to put things in writing and after 37 years on this planet I still do not understand people and why they do the things they do.
    Check Out Heather @ Random Redheaded Ramblings’s most recent post- My Red Rising Re-Read!My Profile

  4. Katherine @ I Wish I Lived in a Library
    Twitter:
    February 18, 2016 at 4:26 pm - Reply

    Oh I’m so sorry Karen. That royally sucks. Being friends as an adult is so hard because most of the time you don’t see each other regularly and there’s so much real life stuff that gets in the way so when you make an effort and it gets ignored that really hurts.
    Check Out Katherine @ I Wish I Lived in a Library’s most recent post- Why Not Me – ReviewMy Profile

  5. Eva @ All Books Considered February 18, 2016 at 6:42 pm - Reply

    That can’t have been easy to write. I’ve had similar situations and it sucks. Big hugs!
    Check Out Eva @ All Books Considered’s most recent post- I love this trope, sub-genre, setting: Political Romance!My Profile

  6. Let's Get Beyond Tolerance February 18, 2016 at 11:37 pm - Reply

    I’m sorry to hear that! This does happen sometimes, but you would think she’d have reached out if you DID do something. I’d say it’s more on her than anything. She might have went back to school and met new people and wanted to change herself in a way you know? It’s like when someone dates someone new and they just drop their friends.
    Check Out Let’s Get Beyond Tolerance’s most recent post- Pre-Order Giveaway for South of Sunshine by Dana ElmendorfMy Profile

  7. Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight
    Twitter:
    February 19, 2016 at 2:17 am - Reply

    Aw Karen, I am SO sorry. This has happened to me too, and it is the worst. Because you never DO know, and you always wonder if it was you, or something you did or didn’t do, or whatever. And that moment that you stop reaching out is hard too.

    One thing I have learned after a loooot of therapy is that as much as it hurts, this person probably wasn’t good for you if she was willing to dismiss your friendship so easily. You’re worth more than that. I am thinking of a particular friend when I say this, because it DOES hurt. And it makes you sad, and makes you miss the good times. But like- what would have happened if you’d kept trying? In all likelihood, you’d just keep getting hurt. Sadly, we can’t fix how people treat us- we can only change how we react to it. ANd I think you reacted well. You tried to save the friendship. You mourned its loss. You’re a good person, and she’s missing out.

    Making friends as an adult is the actual worst and hardest thing in the world, I am convinced of it. Yet, I see people who are my age and who have kids who DO have friends, and then I wonder… what is wrong with me? But I think it’s really just a perfect storm of crappy factors that added up to make it this way. And I do hope that it will get easier. Blogging has made it easier- even if my friends are not always physically here, I feel like I can count on them. But one day, I think it’ll be possible again, for us both. And it’s nice that you have Miguel for like, actual adult conversation! (I am starting to think that my novella comments are just because I am longing to talk to humans who don’t- to my knowledge- still require diapers 😉 )

    Thank you for sharing this with us, Karen. We love you!! ♥♥♥
    Check Out Shannon @ It Starts At Midnight’s most recent post- The Forbidden Wish by Jessica Khoury: Review & GiveawayMy Profile

    • Karen Blue
      Twitter:
      February 19, 2016 at 7:27 am - Reply

      Awwe, thanks Shannon! See now, I would have thought you’d have oodles of friends. At least you have Val, right? I would love to have at least one good blogger buddy. I think it could happen. I am plenty happy right now with Miguel and the books. I totally know what you mean when you say crappy factors. I am pretty sure my lack of real friendships today can be chalked up to the big move north and my job being what it is. I don’t interact with my co-workers much, cuz it’s home care. Then, it is not good to get in the habit of making friends with patients, although I am plenty friendly. People die in Hospice, so that sucks. Plus, I am so busy with this site and the books, ya know? I know I will find friends again one day. I won’t give on friendship.
      (hey, how did you get the hearts in your comment?)

  8. Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction February 19, 2016 at 4:01 pm - Reply

    I’m so sorry to hear this. I have a friend like this too – We were absolute best friends through high school and into college until she went away to a different school. Still, I tried to stay in touch – I would call her (this was pre-texting), but she would never make any effort to contact me back. I knew she was busy, but it still hurt. As the years went on, I eventually just sort of gave up, but it still hurts my heart to think of her – I thought we would always be close, but I guess maybe I just wasn’t as important to her as she was to me.

    The funny thing is, she just recently wished me a happy birthday on FB and I was kind of blown away – it was the first time she’d initiated ANY sort of contact at all in many years. I don’t know if it will lead to any sort of real rekindling of our friendship, but it made me at least feel a little better that she was still out there, at least giving me some thought.
    Check Out Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction’s most recent post- Can Book Blogging Lead to a Job? Let’s Discuss!My Profile

  9. Kathy
    Twitter:
    February 19, 2016 at 9:14 pm - Reply

    I’m sorry to hear this but you are not alone! This has happened to me when I got married and had kids. My single friends didn’t understand that I wasn’t available all the time but I always tried to stay in touch. They found other single people to hang out and I never heard from them again. It hurts seeing them on Facebook but I’ve got my family and new friends that are understanding. You were really brave on sharing this! I skipped this topic because I would have written a letter to some people at work, and I’m afraid they might have seen this lol. Thanks for sharing Karen!
    Check Out Kathy’s most recent post- Thirsty Thursday & Hungry Hearts #1 – Last Ride to GracelandMy Profile

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