Tag Archive for swinger club

Breaking the Ice in the Lifestyle

swingers

Meeting new couples in the lifestyle can be a challenge. Most new couples find it hard to actually “hook-up” with others as they try to break into the swinger lifestyle. Most couples may try by placing an profile on a swinger site. I have written previously about the unwritten rules of creating a profile on swinger sites before and offered some suggestions. We have profiles on a lot of sites, (Kasidie, SwingLifeStyle, Swinger Date Club, and Adult Friend Finder just to name a few). Having your profile on more than one site should increase your odds but even having the best profile does not guarantee you success. You may still end up meeting picture collectors, and playing e-mail/text ping-pong with people who are not afraid of wasting your time.

I remember going to a club for the first time and feeling like breaking the ice was just too difficult. How do I find a reason to talk to someone I might want to hook-up with? Miguel and I are both pretty social and we have become pretty bold. At first we were wall flowers and didn’t talk to anyone. Why even go out? I wanted to play with people but didn’t know how to approach people. One of the best ways to meet new people is just to walk up to them and say hello. This approach won’t really work if everyone is already talking to another couple. There are cliques in some clubs and most regulars have friends they socialize with. Breaking into a conversation is just rude and we don’t do that. The more you go to a place the more you begin to recognize people. Once you have established that you want to play and your partner is in, how do you proceed? After a few nights out at any club, you can see who comes a lot. I am not suggesting you wait that long. So what do you do when you see a couple you want to hook-up with, just walk up and say hello? What if you or your partner is too shy for that? What if you are at a new club?

Most swinger clubs want people to have a great night. They want you to find what you are looking for, and hopefully make a friend. They know that you will probably come back if you do. Most swinger clubs have all kinds of games at their disposal, these could be great for a home party as well. We have played some ridiculous games and some really funny games. We struggled with shyness until we decided to start playing the games at clubs. Having been in the lifestyle for a few years now, I have noticed how much more social people can be after a few games. Playing games when you are new is almost always a good idea. Games are suppose to get people out of their shell and talking to each other. Some are better at that than others. One of my favorite “games” is the Speed Dating game. The idea is pretty simple. You go out and spend a few minutes talking to each couple until everyone has met each other. Most swingers are friendly social people, so this is genius. Imagine if you could meet a bunch of new people at a club! Participating in games increases the meeting new people which increases chances for success at swinging. If you get a chance at a club to play a game, I say go for it! You are likely to meet new people and maybe even win a prize for your night out.

Some tips for meeting new people:

  • Keep communication open with other couples by NOT sitting in the corner anymore. Move to a more approachable area.You are out to meet people, not just converse with your s/o!
  • Be yourself and keep it simple. Look for something complimentary to say if nothing else comes to you…this works almost anywhere, btw.
  • Talk about your experience, don’t be afraid to say if you don’t have any. “We have never been here before, is it usually this crowded/dark/loud/quiet?” is a great way to meet new people.
  • I am surprised at how often simply asking “Is this your first time here?” opens up the door for Miguel and I to talk to new people. Even if the answer is no, there is usually a story to go with it.
  • Be nice! Don’t talk about other people in a negative way. Swinger are a small community and you want to make a good impression.

After a few hook-ups breaking the ice will be easier, even the quietest couple can make new friends if they try. Don’t be afraid to talk to people, you have at least one common interest after all, right?

♥ Good news for people close to Tampa, FL…Rebecca Ammon is hosting a speed dating event at Eyz Wide Shut on September 1st. I hope to meet you there! ♥

Mojo Back

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We tried to do something different this past Saturday night. In case you don’t know, Saturday is our official date night. We almost always go out. Unless one of us is sick, or we have no money (actually, even then we still try). This Saturday we were going to try to go to a local swinger house party. Let me just say here that the location was all wrong. Not that we live in a great neighborhood or we are fucking snobs or anything, but somethings you can just tell by the location. So we scraped that plan when we realized where it was and went to Eyz Wide Shut.

We have discussed how we never really play that much when we go to Eyz, like maybe we lost our mojo. The truth is that we, (and by we I mean me) get so fucking caught up in everything swinging just falls to the side. I have been trying to figure out how to get my mojo back. We talked to other couples who frequent the club and I realized it is not just us. Sometimes it is just like that. Yo can do “all the right stuff” (be available, talk to people, invest time with a couple…) and still not end up swinging. I decided to just have fun, and try not to be so hard on myself about it. So when a couple we have seen a few times started to dance with me, I just had fun and let it happen. Of course, when they asked if we wanted to play we said yes.

>>Fast forward through a few drinks and some dancing. We all went next door to the lodging side to play.

I was wearing a corset and a little black skirt. We got a room right away and as soon as we were all in I stripped off my panties and pulled my skirt up. The girl was wearing a low cut top, skirt and fishnet stockings. What I didn’t realize is that underneath her top was a peek-a-boo bra, and her stockings were crotchless. (Thinking now how I have to get a pair of crotchless fishnet, She looked so hot!) She had nice full breasts and a clean smooth pussy. I buried my face in her snatch and worked my fingers on her g-spot.

I almost forgot about the guys in the room until Miguel stuck his fingers into me from behind. I decided to give Miguel a taste of her and I moved out so Miguel could move in. He went to town licking and sucking her pussy. Her man took his opportunity to go down on me and we enjoyed our first full swap in over a month with this couple. His cock was long and pretty thick. Try as I might I could not get all of it in my mouth. I did my best licking and sucking while working my hands on the shaft. I couldn’t wait for him to fuck me with this monster. I was practically begging him to fuck me. He instructed me to lay back and then he impaled me with his cock. Miguel and the girl were busy fucking right next to us. I was so turned on I came after a few thrusts. He fucked me good. Like a jackhammer he drilled his cock into me.

Miguel took a break after a while but this guy just kept going. He finally came and we decided to watch Miguel and his wife. It was hot to watch and we made out. He licked all over my neck and shoulders. “Pull my hair”, I told him. He kissed me then real nice and deep while he pulled my hair. I felt him get semi-hard again while we made out and I worked my mouth on his cock again getting his cock back to life. I got on my knees in anticipation and placed my ass near the end of the bed. The bed was really high and my thighs were almost flush with the bed as he fucked me again. He fucked me slow and then fast. He stopped a few times to tell me how hot my ass looked as his dipped his fingers into my rosebud. I came again. I looked over and caught the last few seconds as the wife orally manipulated Miguel into cuming into her mouth.

It was a great night. It seems like my mojo is just fine!

On Rejection

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One of the most awkward things in the lifestyle is rejection. Most swingers are friendly happy people. How do you say “no” to people you want to remain friends with? Not every couple is equally sexy. I am sure a lot of people could say that about Miguel and I. I have a whole list of reasons for rejecting someone. Just because I swing doesn’t mean I don’t have standards. On the flip side, I know I am not going to be attractive to everyone. We have been rejected plenty. There is a correct way to handle rejection. It is hard not to take it personally, but really, rejection is inevitable. We are a small group, eventually you will probably run into that couple again. Burning bridges is not something a seasoned couple does in this lifestyle. I am always shocked when I hear about people becoming rude when they get rejected. We have been cursed at and blocked, even threatened in a few rare occasions, all just for rejecting someone? Miguel has come up with the perfect phase that handles the awkwardness of a rejection.

“One of us isn’t interested in one of you.”

This releases blaming. We have been pretty fortunate that most couples are good at reading body language. Occasionally we have to walk away from people that are pursuing us. Just because we are at the club doesn’t mean we “have” to hook-up with anyone. I had a conversation with Rebecca and we talked about how we handle rejecting a couple that we don’t want to play with. She had a fun rule to pull out when she didn’t want a re-match with a couple,

“We only hook-up with a couple once.”

Sounds reasonable. Anything more than once would feel like dating. I know a few couples that really only ever hook-up with each other. To me that just seems weird and could invite too much jealousy. We have had a few re-matches with couples and it worked out most of the time. I definitely don’t want to date another couple though. Of course when you swing like that eventually one of you “takes one for the team.” We always said we wouldn’t be like that. We really try not to. Swing long enough and it happens. Another swinger friend I spoke with said she and her man removed themselves completely for a while after too many times of “taking one for the team.” It happens. A relationship is work and a swinger couple has to be even more diligent due to extra sexual factors.

We used to be more personal. It is so easy to reject someone at a swinger club. At a club if you don’t want to play with someone, just exit the conversation. I may see too many things at a club as rejection, but I don’t ever want to be that person that can’t take a hint. On the other hand, I have a short attention span. Then I get distracted and it seems that I have rejected someone, when that is hardly ever the case. We go to the club so often that I forget we are there to try to meet people and hook-up. I miss the ease of meeting a couple for drinks and then going from there. Of course, then we might be back to “taking one for the team”. Plus that requires so much work for Miguel. It is “work” he will enjoy I am sure. Things might move slower like this, but I think we are missing out by trying to “compete” at the club.

What amazes me in the lifestyle is when I think about when we have been rejected or taken one for the team. Even after all the b.s. that we might deal with, it is still the exception and not the rule.

Caliente Resort

We get invited to Caliente Resort all the time. Caliente is a nudist resort. The have swinger type events there almost every weekend. Everyone that has been there that we have talked to, has told us how exemplary the accommodations are there. We have a whole list of excuses for not trying something new, because to be honest “nudist” doesn’t really describe us.

  • It is too far. We thought this place was like in the middle of Florida or something. I thought this place was like a little resort surrounded by a lot of nothingness. In truth, this resort is easy to get to and just a little bit off a major road off the interstate.
  • It is too expensive. They have a lot of specials and their parties are priced very competitively with other swinger clubs. I was shocked to find out how reasonable they were priced.
  • It will just be “old” people or “ugly” people and we don’t really want to see that. Like we are some hard body athletic people. Umm, there were so many sexy bodies at the resort. It really was ridiculous that I even thought that.
  • We are perfectly happy with our regular club. Ya, that shit has changed. I promote a club on-line for free and I don’t even get a discount at the door. I have seen major staffing shifts at our regular haunt and it just confirms the idea that maybe it is all about money for some clubs.
  • We can’t stay over. Having responsibilities and stuff we had this idea that we had to stay over. Nah! It will be very nice when we can but it is not a requirement now that we know how close this place is.

We got another invite Memorial Day weekend. This couple assured us that they go every weekend and they have a blast. We finally relented with our excuses and took a chance. I am so very glad we did, we had a great time. Caliente is a little resort that is indeed paradise. The whole resort is surrounded by a compound looking wall to keep it private. Everything from the front gate to the well manicured landscapes to the helpfulness of staff, screamed money! How does this place go undiscovered by us for so long….damn it! They have homes, condos and big hotels right on site.

There was parking right by the gate and we found a spot fairly easily even on this busy holiday weekend. Right as we got out of the car we noticed golf carts transporting scantly clad (and overdressed folks) over to the clubhouse. We missed the first trip and I took the opportunity to have a look around. There were people enjoying naked tennis right next to us. The buildings looked well maintained and the landscape was very nicely done. A minute later a different golf cart arrived to take us over. The trip to the clubhouse took only a minute or two. I noticed plenty of people walking around the community as well. How considerate is it for them not to make me walk from my car to the party. The clubhouse is where we spend the majority of the day, but even that was very well staffed. The building was all nicely furnished and there were plenty of bathrooms that were well stocked. Walking through the foyer to the back of the building our eyes focused on the view we know of Caliente. From the back of the courtyard we had a picturesque view of the pool, waterfall, and tiki area. They actually have more than one pool there but spent most of our day in the upper deck pool socializing with our friends, but I get ahead of myself here.

We found our friends fairly easily and they were already naked. I was surprised at how easy it was for both of us to strip down and walk around. Possibly being surrounded by naked people made it a bit easier. At the pool and wearing clothes I would have been the oddity! I spied many different body types there. Other that feeling pale, I didn’t feel so self conscious, especially once I got in the pool.

They had at least three bars (maybe more) that we found easy to access from where we were at. I ordered a drink and I was blown away by how much alcohol I got, these were not the watered-down drinks I was used to. It was very nice to not feel nickel and dime-d at the bar. I tried not to drink it too fast, but the fact is that after that one drink I was pretty sauced. It was hard to leave. We plan on getting a room there in the very near future. I will definitely let you know what the hotels rooms look like. We ended up spending 4 hours in the pool. We had a very nice time and met some nice new people too. We headed home exhausted. I was so drunk/horny I gave Miguel head in the car until he found a place to pull over on the way home. It is lucky that we have a nice big car now. Sex in the car was not quite like I expected but at least I can scratch it off my sexual bucket list now.


Dungeon Play

Saturday night found us at the club. It felt good to be there on a Saturday night. I have really missed going there. I have to say that now that I have my weekends back, it feels more like when we first started going. I looked around the club and saw lots of possibilities. I seem to be remembering why we go to a swinger’s club….and it is not just to dance. I noticed more than a handful of interracial couples. It is nice not be the only ones for once.

We ran into people I almost forgot about playing with. We don’t play with any one couple for too long. Playing with one couple or single only for any length of time would probably feel more like a relationship. We have enough trouble managing each other. It is not uncommon to run into people that we have played with and I can’t remember their name(s). It happens so often and it is something we can joke about. I remember the dynamics most of the time (she had a red dress on, we danced slowly then made out, he fucked me doggie-style) but not their damned names. I am worse at this than most people, just ask Miguel.

Anyways…

We had a great time at the club and met some new people. When it came time to play we headed straight to the dungeon. It was just me and Miguel at first. He placed the blindfold over my eyes and strapped my arms into the St.Andrew’s cross. He hiked up my skirt and pulled off my panties. I love this moment and the anticipation of my punishment. Miguel moved my feet apart and then started smacking my ass. Miguel was especially rough with me smacking more me more than usual. I heard other voices and the equipment in the room being shifted, someone else was getting strapped into the suspension cuffs. Then the creaking of the beds as people moved about throughout the room. Miguel didn’t let the audience deter him. He used his bare hands and smacked my ass really hard. He finger fucked me between smacks. His fingers jammed into my g-spot as his body held me firmly to the cross. Miguel told me over and over to cum for him as his fingers reamed me. I did. Then he smacked me some more. He released my hands from the cross after about 20 minutes. I started to pull my skirt down, but Miguel scolded me and led me backwards with my hands behind my back and directed me to sit on the couch. He then unbuckled his belt and pulled his cock out. He ordered me to keep my hands behind my back as he fed his cock into my mouth.

I sucked his cock with my eyes closed. He encouraged me to suck it good before he fucked me. He pulled his cock out and I submitted as he pushed me back on the bed. I moved my hands around to his cock to help guide him in as he moved into position. He hiked my legs up over his shoulders and held my hands together over my head as he fucked me. His eyes closed slightly after a few minutes. He looked like he was going to cum so I told him to stop. I told him I wanted finish in a private room. As I got up off the couch I got my first good look around the room. This room that had been completely empty when we started now help no less than 10 people. There was a scene going on with a bound woman getting fucked. Behind me on the same couch was another couple with the woman on all fours and the guy fucking her. There were people standing all around the entrance enjoying the show. I know I wasn’t the last girl strapped to the cross that night.

Miguel and I found a private room down the hall. I got my Mia vibe out and turned it on the highest setting. I used it on my clit and Miguel took his clothes off. Miguel laid down across the bed positioned his body under my legs and fed his cock into me. I love this position with Miguel laying sideways so I can look him in the eye as I cum all over his cock. I didn’t last very long before I came. The orgasm was still washing over me as he moved into a missionary position to fuck me. His eyes were closing as he told me how wet I was, how good it felt to fuck me. He came with a grunt and it seemed I could feel his cum shooting into me. We both laid there for a while before we cleaned up and got dressed. We left the lodging after that and went back over to the club. The crowd was much thinner at this time and we got something to eat before we made the drive back home. I know we both had a great time. The best part was that the weekend wasn’t over yet…

Loose Ends in the Lifestyle

Eyz Wide Shut

Last night we went out to the club. Due to a series of unfortunate events I will be working the next few weekends. Working weekends=no Saturday night out fun. Bummer, I know! I was promised this is just temporary. Don’t even get me started about what happened. Let’s just say I like my job a lot less these days. Moving on…

So we go out to the club last night, Thursday night. I had very low expectations for the crowd and I was right. The crowd was really small but surprisingly we met some new people and had a few established friends in the crowd. When we first got there Miguel headed straight to the bar to get us some drinks. I went to harass the DJ and when I met up with him I was mauled by a familiar female. This girl is never that touchy so right away I knew something was rotten in Denmark. As soon as she spoke I heard the slur and smelled the alcohol. This chic was wasted. Not only that, but her eyes were puffy meaning she had been crying. This was a complete surprise. I have seen people get drunk at the club, hell even I have gotten a bit sloppy drunk, but this was waaaaasssted drunk.

Miguel and I tried to be polite. “Ooh my, what happened?” But I really shouldn’t have asked. It was a bad break-up. Hey! We have all been there, right? I have been that chic, but I don’t have to like seeing it. Painful to watch, really. The worst part was that in the middle of everything she invited us to a party she is hosting tonight. We couldn’t go even if we wanted to. I am sure today will be another drunk, crying party delaying the inevitable sober reality check. Fuck! I have so been there and it totally sucks, but there is a time and a place for that kind of drama. It is not at the club on my night out. Gah! Anyways, she verified she had my correct phone number. Then at like 1:30 am, we were at home and just about asleep, my phone rings. It was her and I let it go to voice-mail. WTF could motivate someone to call at that time and at that stage of drunken night out? I already know because, well, let’s just say I have family like that. Nothing good comes of those phone calls. I loose my cool and usually just end up telling them to go ahead and slit their wrists so I can get some fucking sleep. (I am not going to be getting any prizes for patience anytime soon, but I just have no room in my head for anyone’s pity party, grow the fuck up!)

It is almost a joke when we go out to the club. People that know me, know about my blog. They always joke about stuff that is “blog-worthy”. Some people are sure I am going to run home and type up a report of their stuff, and some really hope I do. Not that I am even anything major, but I put it out there on the net for anyone with a computer to see. I am discreet to a point, I never blast anyone’s name. I am even careful about describing people, lest everyone who follows me be able to connect the dots. I kiss and tell, and I tell I tell. That being said, my blog is mine. If you want me to write nice things about you, then just behave better.

This morning I check my messages and I am hoping that call was not intentional and more like a butt-dial. It was just a bit ridiculous.

Now that I have that off my plate, let me tell you about something cool that happened last night. A chic we have seen there a few times, a Unicorn, answered a few questions for me. I am always curious about the motivations of a Unicorn. (BTW a Unicorn is a single female in the “lifestyle”, they are so rare they are almost a myth) We have had three types of unicorns and none of them were that great. One Unicorn was really only interested in me, another was only interested in Miguel, and the other wanted us to be exclusively with her. So I had to ask her what being a unicorn is like. This chic is living the life, I’m telling you. If Miguel ever dies, (cause ya, he will have to be dead to be rid of me) I am gonna become a Unicorn. She said whenever she is not in a relationship, she swings. Inside of a relationship, she is exclusive. I asked her about jealousy and she said that she doesn’t get exclusive with couples, she doesn’t want the baggage. She also said that she gets to know the couple for a while before she plays with them. Her playmates are her good friends. That is an excellent policy. She just cuts ties with people that want her all to themselves. I am very curious about a person that controls themselves like that. I bet she is enjoying the best of both by keeping them separate. But I wonder….if she had to choose either swinger or exclusivity, which would it be? Swinging for a Unicorn is different. I have even seen single males who have been playing for years, drop completely out of the lifestyle for the right woman. I don’t think, well, I actually don’t ever want to find out. Being part of a couple in the lifestyle is hard and requires work, but I think I would prefer it to any other set up.