Tag Archive for lifestyle

A Special Kind of Crazy

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So I am a very jealous lover. I can’t fucking stand it when my Miguel enters a scene when I am not in the room.

I over-reacted to something that wasn’t even a thing. Look, when you have the sort of scars that I do crazy creeps up from time to time. I know Miguel loves me, I know he is faithful but….alcohol and I want to freak out over something that is nothing. I can’t stop the reaction when it happens. I can only apologize for it later. Maybe I can try to recognize it. Let me tell you what happened…

I had last Sunday night off, so we went out. New people, or at least new to us. I was in a really good mood and excited to meet new people. We met them at a bar close to their house. They were really nice and we had a lot in common. They like to drink and they were both smokers, so we sat outside.

We talked and drank and talked. Miguel was the only sober one. The weather got a bit weird with strong gusts of wind and some rain. We almost thought it might be a tornado but then it calmed a bit. We all took that as a cue to move the party so they took us home to their place. They lived about 5 minutes away. I was so revved up in the car that I immediately went to work on trying to get Miguel’s cock out so I could suck it. I love getting his cock out while he drives. I know this is dangerous, but I was very horny. I licked and sucked his cock as best I could until we arrived at their apartment complex.

Once we got to their place we all settled in for more drinks and conversation on their screened-in porch. It was good and fun, we had loads in common. But the ice needed to broken. So, I took off my pants. Then everyone stripped, and we moved into the bedroom. . .

Naked in the bedroom I went to work sucking on the guys cock. Miguel and the girl got tangled up next to us. He was really hard. His cock was long and thin. He asked me to lay back and then he licked and sucked my pussy. I came as he finger fucked me and sucked my clit. A few minutes after I came on his face, he sat up and put a condom on. Miguel put a condom on too. Then we all started fucking. He kissed me a lot while he fucked me. He held me close and pumped his cock in me. I clenched my pussy muscles tight and fucked him back, wanting to feel every inch of cock. It was hot. Miguel and the girl right next to us. He stopped twice to licked her pussy and finger her g-spot hard making her cum loudly, before going right back to fuck her more. The guy pulled out and I sucked his cock. Miguel pulled back after a while from sheer exhaustion and her man moved over to fuck her then. Miguel then moved over and finger fucked me hard while sucking on my clit. I came so hard from him pounding my g-spot. I wanted him to fuck me. He started kinda walking away so I assumed he was done. I shakily walked to the bathroom, still reeling from being fucked and cuming so hard.

I came back to find the guy standing on one side of the bed fucking her. She was laying on her back. Miguel was on the other side with his cock being sucked by the woman, her head hanging back over the bed. Seeing this turned my stomach. He was too tired to fuck me, or so I thought. Now he has his cock in her mouth and she is getting it good. I am admittedly a bit crazy. I know. Jealous when I should have enjoyed the view. I just looked, and I pulled myself out of the situation. Miguel immediately recognized my look, but didn’t understand why. We were done for the night.

Ugh!

So this resulted in what I like to call a “silent storm”. We said our goodbyes and went home. I didn’t talk to him the whole way home. When I finally told him what was bothering me, well he didn’t agree with what I observed. He swears I was sucking the guys cock when he walked in, but to my knowledge he was right there. I completely left the room, even saying I wanted to use the bathroom. Why do I have this issue if we are such a solid couple? Why would I even entertain the thought of jealousy when this is a choice we both made, to swing…together?

Moving forward, I sort of apologized to Miguel. He gets that sometimes I am so crazy I can’t really help it. In the future I probably should but…our little “issue” resulted in some very hot make up sex. Mostly me making up for whatever. The best part is when Miguel takes control of the whole situation. He knows I get out of control, so he takes control…completely. Dominating me and dictating how he will fuck me, when, and what the conditions are. It all starts with me asking him to come home for lunch so we can fuck. Then it leads to collared anal sex with toys and his cock. I am grateful that he gets me. I completely needed him to forgive me.

Next time I will try to behave differently with this sexy couple that I really want to see again. I just had to put it out there. I am a special kind of crazy.

 

Struggling with the Swing

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I have been wanting to blog about our last two hook-ups. The thing is that after thinking about the details, I have decided not to. There are some really good reasons for this…#1 reason, these folks read my blog. That puts undue pressure on my writing. I hate to fucking sensor myself. Sometimes it is not awesome that people actually read my posts. I hate the pressure of putting everything in a positive light. It is not all good, but it wasn’t all bad either.

One of the factors I have encountered with these last two hook-ups.

Jealousy.

I hate it, but it happens. I have shared before about my struggle with jealousy. I don’t always keep my emotions in check. I am fiercely jealous. I don’t/can’t stomach the thought of someone enjoying Miguel without me being right there. I have had my jealousy rage almost out of control before. This wasn’t like that. This was like a slight oversight. No rules were really broken on purpose. We were in the same room per se, but…same room slightly out of my line of vision. No, that’s not cool. Also really not cool, when I make someone else feel something like that when we play.

I am really sorry for that.

It is not that he had sex with another woman. It has nothing to do with her really. The mistake I made last year was that I thought it was person specific. We play with different people almost exclusively. You can think/talk about it all you want. You can’t always control how you feel. One of the most important thing about swinging is communication. I am very grateful that we proceeded into the lifestyle in a way that didn’t make me feel threatened. I felt like I could have stopped at any point and just knowing that made me feel free to explore until we evolved into the a comfortable place. I didn’t really feel any jealousy until last year. Then I felt like we needed to stop right there. As a result, we took a time out. Since communication is so essential I shared what it was about it that bothered me.

I don’t like the way the last two hook-ups went. If I could go back, I would have done things differently. I can’t. I can’t fix the fact that I made someone else feel like that. I know it was not anyone’s intention. I still would have went out on the dates. I still wouldn’t change our lifestyle. I am actually really glad that I felt jealous. Fear fuels my jealousy. Here is what happens as a result of my fear, I become a more attentive lover. I want nothing more than to please and keep my love’s affections. It is not that I actually think Miguel would leave me for a swinger hook-up, that is just ridiculous! It is just that I want to share in every orgasm he has with a woman. I want to be there to enjoy it. So what! So this is how we swing. I don’t think there is anything wrong with a little bit of jealousy, as long as it is communicated and not exploited.

Sexy Single

We had a date with what was suppose to be a couple on Wednesday. I am not sure where we met this couple…craiglist, aff? Probably craiglist. The couple ended up not really being a couple. It was a married female and one of her boyfriends on the side. I am not going to assume I know/understand how this works. The girl text me early yesterday. She had to cancel at the last minute but she highly recommended I still go meet the single guy. I had no doubt she was sorry she couldn’t meet him herself. We have had tons of fun with single guys. I was excited about the date.

We met the guy at a local hotel, a nice one downtown. He was better looking in person than in the picture I saw. Nice eyes, nice ass. We met at the hotel bar and he bought me a few drinks. I let Miguel know right away that I was interested. He made a good impression on me and I felt comfortable proceeding. He invited us up and after only a few minutes he made a move and kissed me. I loathe the awkwardness of the first move but this guy made it feel like a natural progression. We kissed and he helped me out of my clothes, while I helped him out of his. He sucked on my nipples and then I got down on my knees and took his rather large throbbing cock in my mouth. I licked his cock head and up and down the shaft before taking him int my mouth. He was hard as a rock and I gagged as I tried to get it all in. I felt the tears coming as his cock hit the back of my throat. He cock was long and pretty thick.

Miguel took lots of pictures…

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We moved over the the king sized bed. We kissed a bit more before he pulled me into position. I was on my back with my head on a pillow. He put his face in my muff and flicked my clitoris with his tongue. Miguel took a few pictures and then he moved in beside me. The guy continued to work his mouth on me. He moved his hands all around my inner thighs. He pulled his face up and slid his hand over my slit. He didn’t put a finger in me and I was soaking wet. The guy went back to work on my clit while Miguel fondled my nipples. I reached out my hand to find his cock. I tried to stroke his cock, but the position mixed with the distraction meant I could only squeeze the head a bit. I found his cock was wet with pre cum and I worked the head with my hand. The guy pulled his face up one last time and worked his hands over my labia. Then he sat up and I held onto his cock and stroked it. Miguel moved up and took this…

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He slipped a condom on and then he slid his cock into me. I adjusted to the length right away. He fucked me and I squeezed my muscles around him. He fucked me fast and ground his cock into me. It was a great fuck. I came quick and he continued to fuck me. I looked over at Miguel and loved knowing he was there to see it all. He moved my legs apart putting my feet on his chest and his hands on my knees. This gave his cock maximum impact as he trust into me.

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Miguel said “squeeze his cock, make him cum” and I clenched down as hard as I could. The guy moved in close and asked me if I wanted him to cum. I said yes and then he asked me “where do you want it?” I told him to cum on my stomach. He fucked me for another minute before pulling out and pulling the condom off. Then he stroked his cock over me until he came a gooey mess all over me.

Miguel and I went home and fucked like rabbits after this encounter. He loved watching me get fucked. I loved knowing he was there, too. This guy was actually from out of town, but he is thinking about moving here. Let’s hope so!

Failure to Follow Instructions

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Meeting potential couples is a bit of a dance. Show interest with a wink, write and e-mail, make a phone call, voice verify, answer questions and go over the rules, set up the meeting. It is not always the same. Obviously meeting people at a club wouldn’t follow this pattern. Meeting people over the internet usually does. Sometimes the e-mails go on for weeks, or even months until the schedule coincide and a date is made. Some people will not be rushed into meeting and that is fine. Some people are really worth the wait. Sometimes we get right to it and then we meet.

We all have lives outside of swinging. We have careers, some of us have kids and other responsibilities. We can’t all run out at the drop of a hat and meet new people for a potential hook-up, (although I wish we had that kind of freedom). Some of us can’t chat about swinging on the phone. Little ears and work may restrict the conversation during certain hours.

An unspoken rule for me is to follow instructions. This goes for us and them. If they ask me to call, I call. If they want to see a picture I send it. If I ask them to call me at a certain time, I make myself available to chat. I am picky. I will write someone off before I even meet them if they fail to follow instructions. In the swinger world instructions are important. Even more so because of what we intend to do together. What does it say about someone when they can’t follow simple instructions? I am not talking about step-by-step instructions, although we have received and followed them for certain situations. I am talking about a little thing like a good time to call me to chat. If you call me three hours later don’t be surprised if I can’t chat. I have kids and a night time job. My kids are old enough to know that when I talk low it’s because I don’t want them to hear, (and then miraculously they can hear everything).

Another unspoken rule I have is that if you invite another couple on our date, you should tell us about it. I don’t mind a few extra players, but I like to be informed. As a courtesy maybe you should send us a picture of them. Don’t they want to know what we look like? That is fine if you send one of us to them. We are not ken and barbie but we do have standards. We had a date at the Hard Rock hotel a while back with a couple that had invited two other couples to the same party on the same night. The thing is that there was no mention of other couple(s). One of the couples ended up being really high maintenance and ruining the night. We probably wouldn’t have been able to predict it even if we knew there would be extra players. I find it kind of ironic that we knew the other couple (not the high maintenance one, the other one). What are the odds? Pretty good actually because swingers are a small community. Even if you don’t know me, you probably know someone I know in this area. This is just common courtesy really. 1

So there! I feel better now that I got that off my chest and you all know that I am a bit of a control freak. I want to be in the know so bad. I want people who have a bit of common sense and courtesy. Am I asking too much?

Listen, I always try to extend people a bit of common courtesy. I even take it the extra step and try to read body language so that I don’t overstep boundaries and make potential hook-ups uncomfortable. Oh shit! What if I am the high maintenance person here? No fuck that! I have a right to be picky. I don’t have to lower my standards to swing. There are plenty of sexy courteous people in the lifestyle. If you can’t follow simple instructions I guess I don’t want to fuck you.

  1. For the record that night ended up being a waste of time since we didn’t hook-up with anyone and didn’t even have a good time there. Ugh!

What’s Your Average?

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I saw a post on Facebook that got me thinking. A couple was saying they had only been with four couples after two years in the lifestyle. It got me wondering how many we have been with. I don’t really keep track of how many, but it made me curious enough to try and figure it out.

Right away Miguel claimed that we average less than one a month. I counted 44 months in the lifestyle. We painstakingly tried to recall all the couples we have enjoyed since we got into the lifestyle. The conversation was pretty funny. I don’t remember everyone’s names. Miguel actually remembered most of their names. I remember stupid details like “that couple with all the movies” or “that couple with the guy with the big tattoo.” (Hey sport fuckers, just to be clear, it is not a competition!)

We only counted couples and not single people. (I doubt either of us could really remember all the singles, there are quite a few.) We counted full and soft swaps. I wonder if our average looks like other people’s average in the lifestyle. Miguel was actually right that our number averages out to one a month.

Our average is one a month. Is that really average? I know some couples must be getting a better average than that. I am actually really surprised the number was not much larger. I can remember months with one or two hook-ups a week. Then again there are months when we didn’t play with anyone but each other. How often do average swingers play?

But really, how many couples have you played with? I bet your number, or average, has a lot to do with how picky you are, the places or sites you use to meet people, and how sexually aggressive you are as a couple.

Same Room or Separate Swinging?

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We went to the club last night and met a bunch of new couples. We participate in Swinger Speed Dating at the club whenever it is possible because it is a great chance to meet new people. There were a bunch of new couples at the club. (by new I mean new to me, not newbies) Rebecca Ammon hosts this event once a month. She always supplies a list of questions. The first question on the list last night was “Are you full swap, soft swap, seasoned or newbies?” We found a few newbies, but most of the couples were seasoned sluts experienced in the lifestyle. We found more than a handful that were not only full swap, they were full swap that played separately.

One of our “rules” is that we never play separately. Call me old fashioned but this for us is a hard limit. Most of the folks that have asked me personally to play separately were males that had problems performing with another man in the room. This is not what these couples told us drove them to play separately. The main reason these couples said play separately was that they found themselves distracted with their partner making noise next to them.

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That is half the fun! Knowing Miguel is right there watching me, looking over at him. That is the biggest turn on. Seeing his face as he is enjoying himself. I am usually so caught up in what I am feeling during sex with him to enjoy this sight. I must confess that watching him enjoy himself has spurned many masturbation sessions for me and made it really easy to go from normal to completely turned on in order to test out various toys. (I have an awesome hobby) I just don’t think I could ever do this without him there. If my being turned on has ever driven Miguel to come sooner, well I think that is an even bigger turn on.

I have to admit that at first, in my early days of the lifestyle, I assumed that swinging separately was so sort of evolution of swinging. First comes voyeurism, then exhibitionism, then soft swap, then full swap, then playing separately. In that order. After meeting and talking to literally hundreds of swinger couples, I have found that this is not correct thinking. A lot of happy swingers find themselves very content at various levels and have no desire to move on to the “next” level. There is nothing wrong with this. People may assume that all swingers are like this, or that all swingers do that. The truth is that we are all similar in that we like sex, and then really anything goes from there. Miguel and I found this to be absolutely true right away. That is exactly why we have our hard limits and rules for swinging. Breaking any of our rules is not going to get us to the next level, it will get us fighting.

To be fair, I did notice that these couples did not start out swinging. The few couples we met that played separately had one thing in common…they all were an established couple for at least a few years (if not a decade+) before they decided to explore the lifestyle. We have never met a couple completely new to swinging that played separately. (other than a few that were actually in a poly relationship, but that doesn’t count) Does relationship length before swinging determine if a couple will end up playing separately? I guess Miguel and I dodged a bullet by getting into the lifestyle right away, while we are still relatively young and new to each other. This actually beings to my mind “key parties” of the 70′s that hosted to older couples. Ewwe! That is not for us.